Virtual caroling

[SpaceCowboy]

I thought I'd go ahead and start this over again over here since I won't be able to finish it on the Alternative Kitchen table. I'm going to transfer my full thread starter intact.

Over on the newsgroup alt.books.m-lackey I'm the resident caroler. I thought I'd do the same over here. :evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin: I do this by posting the words to a carol every couple of days. I will post fun ones, serious ones, and songs that are downright insane. So folks here is my first offering for your listening displeasure:


Grandma got run over by a reindeer


Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Mel.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

[Purpura]

I changed the words to that one for a Star Wars Galaxies website I go on and this is what I changed it to Hehe


JarJar got Run over.... by Padawan Anakin Skywalker


JarJar got run over by a Podracer
Walking home to our house Boonta Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Sebulba,
But as for me an' Mommy, we believe.

He'd been drinking too much Jawa beer,
And we begged him to sit instead of stand.
But He suddenly thought he was Lord Tion,
And he staggered out the door
into the sand.

When we found him in the morning,
At the scene of the attack, He had wheel prints on his forehead,
And incriminating scratch marks
on his back.

CHORUS

Now we're all so proud of Qui-Gon,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching dancing Twi'leks,
Drinking beer and playing chance cube
with Ol' Watto.

It's a Boonta Eve without JarJar,
All the Siths are dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up his gifts
or send them back?
SEND THEM BACK!!!

CHORUS

Now the Womp rat is on the table
And the pudding made of fig (ahhhhh!)
And the brown and tan candles,
That would just have matched the skin
on Jarjar's ears so big.

I've warned all my friends and neighbours,
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a Dug who drives a podracer
and plays with Twi'leks.

Sing it, Quigon!

CHORUS

[SpaceCowboy]

You know I think that one needs a spew warning!! :D :D :D :D :fiend: :fiend: :fiend: :fiend:


I changed the words to that one for a Star Wars Galaxies website I go on and this is what I changed it to Hehe


JarJar got Run over.... by Padawan Anakin Skywalker


JarJar got run over by a Podracer
Walking home to our house Boonta Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Sebulba,
But as for me an' Mommy, we believe.

He'd been drinking too much Jawa beer,
And we begged him to sit instead of stand.
But He suddenly thought he was Lord Tion,
And he staggered out the door
into the sand.

When we found him in the morning,
At the scene of the attack, He had wheel prints on his forehead,
And incriminating scratch marks
on his back.

CHORUS

Now we're all so proud of Qui-Gon,
He's been taking this so well.
See him in there watching dancing Twi'leks,
Drinking beer and playing chance cube
with Ol' Watto.

It's a Boonta Eve without JarJar,
All the Siths are dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up his gifts
or send them back?
SEND THEM BACK!!!

CHORUS

Now the Womp rat is on the table
And the pudding made of fig (ahhhhh!)
And the brown and tan candles,
That would just have matched the skin
on Jarjar's ears so big.

I've warned all my friends and neighbours,
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a Dug who drives a podracer
and plays with Twi'leks.

Sing it, Quigon!

CHORUS

[SpaceCowboy]

Ok song two of my virtual caroling. :D



I was playing Santa Claus downtown on Christmas Eve
When a little girl of three or four climbed up on to my knee
I could tell she had a Christmas wish behind those eyes of blue
So I asked her what's your name and what can Santa give to you

She said my name is Christmas Carol, I was born on Christmas day
I don't know who my Daddy is and Mommy's gone away
All I want for Christmas is someone to take me home
Does anybody want a Christmas Carol of their own

Well all that I could say was Santa would do the best he could
Then I sat her down and told her, now remember to be good
She said I will, then walked away, turned and waved goodbye
And I'm glad she wasn't close enough to see old Santa cry

She said my name is Christmas Carol, I was born on Christmas day
I don't know who my Daddy is and Mommy's gone away
All I want for Christmas is someone to take me home
Does anybody want a Christmas Carol of their own

Early Christmas morning I got up and dialed the phone
And made a few arrangements with the County Children's Home
And they told me it would be all right to pick her up today
Now my little Christmas Carol won't ever have to say

My name is Christmas Carol, I was born on Christmas day
I don't know who my Daddy is and Mommy's gone away
All I want for Christmas is someone to take me home
Does anybody want a Christmas Carol of their own
Well Merry Christmas Carol
I love you, welcome home

[SpaceCowboy]

And todays virtual carol is:

If every day could be like Christmas- Elvis Presley

:note: :note: :note: :note: :note: :note:

I hear the bells
Saying Christmas is near
They ring out to tell the world
That this is the season of cheer

I hear a choir
Singing sweetly somewhere
And a glow fills my heart
I'm at peace with the world
As the sound of their singing fills the air

Oh why can't every day be like Christmas
Why can't that feeling go on endlessly
For if everyday could be just like Christmas
What a wonderful world this would be

I hear a child
Telling Santa what to bring
And the smile upon his tiny face
Is worth more to me than anything
:note: :note: :note: :note: :note: :note: :note:

[SpaceCowboy]

Our country music fans might recognize this one.


Hot Rod Sleigh- Toby Keith

:note: :note: :note: :note: :note: :note: :note: :note:
I saw one of Santa’s helpers at the grocery store today
He was standin' at the front door givin' candy canes away
And I told him I was worried about a certain situation
How's Santa gonna get here with this risin' population

He said, I talked to the north pole sometime late last week
And it seems that dear ol' Santa has got somethin' up his sleeve
As I leaned in to listen, he whispered in my hear
He said, don't you dare repeat a single word of this, you hear

Chorus:
He said, boss man's all excited 'cause his new sled's almost ready
And they say he's got it painted up, looks just like Richard Petty's
And Rudolph and the reindeer, they're lookin' long and mean
It's the fastest, highest flyin' winter wonderland machine
I ain't seen it for myself, but I heard say
Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh

It's got a heater in the floorboard 'cause he's gettin' old, you know
And a windshield with the wipers should he happen on some snow
Landin' lights of red and white all stuck along the side
So he can spot the rooftops as he's fallin' from the sky

He's got a king-size toy bin, locks in all the latches
And a big old custom air seat with a safety belt that matches
Only thing about it that worries him a heap
Is that he might be here just long before the children get to sleep

Repeat Chorus

Well, I ain't seen it for myself, but I heard say
Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh

:note: :note: :note: :note: :note: :note: :note:

[SpaceCowboy]

The Christmas Guest- Grandpa Jones
Johnny Cash
Original poem by Helen Stiener Rice


It happened one day near December's end,
Two neighbors called on an old-time friend
And they found his shop so meager and mean,
Made gay with a thousand boughs of green,
And Conrad was sitting with face a-shine
When he suddenly stopped as he stitched a twine
And he said, "Old friends, at dawn today,
When the cock was crowing the night away,
The Lord appeared in a dream to me
And said, 'I am coming your guest to be'.
So I've been busy with feet astir,
Strewing my shop with branches of fir,
The table is spread and the kettle is shined
And over the rafters the holly is twined,
And now I will wait for my Lord to appear
And listen closely so I will hear
His step as He nears my humble place,
And I open the door and look on His face. . ."

So his friends went home and left Conrad alone,
For this was the happiest day he had known,
For, long since, his family had passed away
And Conrad had spent many a sad Christmas Day.
But he knew with the Lord as his Christmas guest
This Christmas would be the dearest and best,
So he listened with only joy in his heart.
And with every sound he would rise with a start
And look for the Lord to be at his door
Like the vision he had a few hours before.
So he ran to the window after hearing a sound,
But all that he could see on the snow-covered ground
Was a shabby beggar whose shoes were torn
And all of his clothes were ragged and worn.
But Conrad was touched and went to the door
And he said, "Your feet must be frozen and sore,
I have some shoes in my shop for you
And a coat that will keep you warmer, too."

So with grateful heart the man went away,
But Conrad noticed the time of day.
He wondered what made the Lord so late
And how much longer he'd have to wait,
When he heard a knock and ran to the door,
But it was only a stranger once more.
A bent, old lady with a shawl of black,
With a bundle of kindling piled on her back.
She asked for only a place to rest,
But that was reserved for Conrad's Great Guest.
But her voice seemed to plead, "Don't send me away
Let me rest for awhile on Christmas day."
So Conrad brewed her a steaming cup
And told her to sit at the table and sup.
But after she left he was filled with dismay
For he saw that the hours were slipping away
And the Lord had not come as He said He would,
And Conrad felt sure he had misunderstood.

When out of the stillness he heard a cry,
"Please help me and tell me where am I."
So again he opened his friendly door
And stood disappointed as twice before,
It was only a child who had wandered away
And was lost from her family on Christmas Day.
Again Conrad's heart was heavy and sad,
But he knew he should make the litte girl glad,
So he called her in and wiped her tears
And quieted all her childish fears.
Then he led her back to her home once more
But as he entered his own darkened door,
He knew that the Lord was not coming today
For the hours of Christmas had passed away.
So he went to his room and knelt down to pray
And he said, "Dear Lord, why did you delay,
What kept You from coming to call on me,
For I wanted so much Your face to see. . ."

When soft in the silence a voice he heard,
"Lift up your head for I kept My word--
Three times My shadow crossed your floor--
Three times I came to your lowly door--
For I was the beggar with bruised, cold feet,
I was the woman you gave something to eat,
And I was the child on the homeless street.
Three times I knocked and three times I came in,
And each time I found the warmth of a friend.
Of all the gifts, love is the best,
I was honored to be your Christmas guest."

[SpaceCowboy]

WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME-Paul McCartney


The mood is right
The spirits up
We're here tonight
And that's enough

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

The party's on
The feeling's here
That only comes
This time of year

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

The choir of children sing their song
Ding dong, ding dong
Ding dong, ding Ohhhh
Ohhhhhhh

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

The word is out
About the town
To lift a glass
Ahhh don't look down

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

The choir of children sing their song
They practiced all year long
Ding dong, ding dong
Ding dong, ding dong
Ding dong, ding dong

The party's on
The spirits up
We're here tonight
And that's enough

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

The mood is right
The spirits up
We're here tonight
And that's enough

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time

Ohhhhhhhhh
Christmas time

[SpaceCowboy]

Tennessee Christmas-various

Come on weatherman,
Give us a forecast snowy white.
Can't you hear the prayers
Of every childlike heart tonight?
Rockies are calling,
Denver snow falling,
Somebody said it's four feet deep.
But it doesn't matter,
Give me the laughter;
I'm gonna choose to keep

Another tender Tennessee Christmas,
The only Christmas for me.
Where the love circles around us,
Like the gift around our tree.
Well I know there's more snow
Up in Colorado
Than my roof will ever see,
But a tender Tennessee Christmas
Is the only Christmas for me.

Every now and then,
I got a wanderin' urge to see
Maybe California,
Maybe tinsel town's for me.
There's a parade there;
We'd have it made there;
Bring home a tan for New Year's Eve.
Sure sounds exciting,
Awfully inviting,
Still I think I'll gonna keep

Another tender Tennessee Christmas,
The only Christmas for me.
Where the love circles around us,
Like the gift around our tree.
Well they say in L.A.,
It's a warm holiday;
It's the only place to be.
But a tender Tennessee Christmas
Is the only Christmas for me.

(Ooooooh, yeah, yeah.)
(Ohh, you know I wanna be home.)
(Ooo-oooh.)

Well I know there's more snow
Up in Colorado
Than my roof will ever see,
But a tender Tennessee Christmas
Is the only Christmas for me.

A tender Tennessee Christmas
Is the only Christmas for me.

[SpaceCowboy]

Leroy, The Redneck Reindeer- Joe Diffie


Well, you've all heard about Rudolph and his nose,
But I'll tell you a Christmas tale that never has been told.
Well, you may think you've heard it all but you ain't heard yet.
About that crazy Christmas that the North pole can't forget.

Rudolph was under the weather, he had to call in sick.
So he got on the horn to his cousin Leroy, who lived out in the
sticks.
He said: "Santa's really counting on me and I hate to pass the buck."
Leroy said "Hey I'm on my way," and he jumped in his pick-up truck.

When Leroy got to the North Pole all the reindeer snickered and
laughed.
They'd never seen a deer in overalls and a John Deere Tractor hat.
But Santa stepped in and said: "Just calm down cause we've all got a
job to do.
"And like it or not, Leroy's in charge, and he's gonna be leading
you."

And it was Leroy, the red neck reindeer,
Hooked to the front of the sleigh.
Delivering toys to all the good ole boys and girls along the way.
He's just a down home party animal, two-stepping across the sky.
He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.

Before that night was over, Leroy had changed their tune.
He had them scootin' a hoof on every single roof, by the light of a
neon moon.
Santa wrapped his bag with a Dixie flag, he was having the time of
his life.
And you can hear him call Merry Christmas y'all, and to all of y'all
a good night.

And it was Leroy, the red neck reindeer,
Hooked to the front of the sleigh.
Delivering toys to all the good ole boys and girls along the way.
He's just a down home party animal, two-stepping across the sky.
He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.

He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.

[Pat]

SC, now, if you could find the words to the Redneck 12 days of Christmas. Heard it the other day on my local country station...it was really funny!!! :)

Loved The Christmas Guest! Thanks.

[SpaceCowboy]

I've got the redneck 12 days, and it's scheduled for tomorrow. I'm glad you loved The Christmas Guest, that is always the first carol played by our local country station. They play it at noon on Thanksgiving, and then don't play any others until the following Monday.


SC, now, if you could find the words to the Redneck 12 days of Christmas. Heard it the other day on my local country station...it was really funny!!! :)

Loved The Christmas Guest! Thanks.

[SpaceCowboy]

Redneck 12 days of Christmas-Jeff Foxworthy


Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart!
(Jeff) Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up! Whadya git?

Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Hey Bubba, you got gypped -- there's 12 days to Christmas.
(Jeff) I know that, I got it covered. Look over in the corner.
That's yours too?
Yea!

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Man, this ain't normal Christmas presents!
No, they're redneck gifts!
Redneck gifts?
Yea, you know, like
if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishing lures.
Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells"
Perhaps if you think "The Nutcracker" is something you did off a high-
dive.
Or, if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights.
Or, if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.

What's wrong with that?
I didn't say anything wrong with it...
It's hard to beat...

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Well, you can't really consider it a Christmas
'less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama.
You're not listenin' to me!
Get the car key outta your ear.
That's where the nine years probation comes in...
I'm gonna do it for ya again.
Now listen...

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

[Pat]

Thanks, SC...I laughed again, just reading it!!! :D

[ladyholdermara]

:D here's the Canadian answer to that lmbbo




Bob: Ok, on the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..
beer.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
2 turtlenecks,
and beer.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..
3 french toast,
2 turtlenecks,
and beer.
There should be more there, eh?

Where?

On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..
4lbs of backbacon,
3 french toast,
2 turtlenecks,
and beer in a tree.

Oh. See? ya need more.

On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..
5 GOLDEN TOQUES!
4lbs of backbacon,
3 french toast,
2 turtlenecks,
and beer in a tree.

On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..
6 packs of two-four.
5 GOLDEN TOQUES!
4lbs of backbacon,
3 french toast,
2 turtlenecks,
and beer in a tree.

Ok.

On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..
7 packs of smokes,
6 packs of two-four,
5 GOLDEN TOQUES!
4lbs of backbacon,
3 french toast,
2 turtlenecks,
and beer in a tree.

oh, i keep forgettin'.

whew, this should be just the 2 days of xmas, this is too hard for us!

On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..
8 comic books,
7 packs of smokes,
6 packs of two-four,
5 GOLDEN TOQUES!
4lbs of backbacon,
3 french toast,
2 turtlenecks,
and beer in a tree.

Wow,That beers empty

Day 12.

G'day and welcome to day 12.

Yeah.

5 GOLDEN TOQUES!
4lbs of backbacon,
3 french toast,
2 turtlenecks,
and beer in a tre-e.

Where did you learn to do that?

Uh, Albums.

Boy, so thats our song merry Christmas, and g'day.

G'day everybody. Happy new years.

Ok, ya know what ya left out?

What?

Donuts. I told you to get me donuts.

Oh no!

Either on the 9th day, or the 10th day or the 11th day. I wanted donuts.

The song is over merry Christmas everybody, or the 12th you coulda gotten me a dozen donuts.

Go to the stores and get some presents. You coulda gone down to the donut shop where you buy a dozen donuts, you get another donut free. Then it coulda been 13 for the 13 days of Christmas.

Next Christmas, get me a chainsaw.

Take off!

Boy that song was a beauty.. it moved me.

Yah , it ranks up there with stairway to heaven. What?

[SpaceCowboy]

You're quite welcome. Believe it or not I have 9 websites of lyrics for christmas music bookmarked in my favorites.


Thanks, SC...I laughed again, just reading it!!! :D

[SpaceCowboy]

Oh, what a merry christmas day- from "Mickey's Christmas Carol"




Oh, what a merry christmas day
Hear the joyous music play
Bells are ringing
choirs singing

Oh, what a merry christmas day
sharing the season of good cheer
with the ones we hold so dear
friendly faces, warm embraces

Oh, what a merry christmas day
snowflakes covered country lanes
Jack Frost painted window panes
twinkling stars on christmas trees

oh, what happy memories
gathered 'round a fireplace
fam'lies filled with love and grace
from peaceful ember's glow
blessed Yuletide spirits grow
grow and grow
grow and grow

Joy to the children far and near
what a won'drous time of year
isn't is just grand to say
merry, merry christmas
merry, merry christmas
Oh, what a merry christmas day

[SpaceCowboy]

The Christmas waltz- Way too many artists to list



Frosted window panes
Candles gleaming inside
Painted cany canes on the the tree
Santa's on his way,
He's filled his slay
With things, things for you and for me

It's the time of year
When the world falls in love
Every song you hear
Seems to say
Merry Christmas
May your new year dreams come true
And this song of mine
In three quarter time
Wishes you and yours
The same thing too

Merry Christmas
May your new year dreams come true
And this song of mine
In three quarter time
Wishes you and yours
The same thing too
Merry Christmas to you

[SpaceCowboy]

The Christmas Song- Way too many artists to list


Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yule-tide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you!

[SpaceCowboy]

This will be my final post in this topic this year. I thought for this one I'd do something different. Every year on CharlieDaniels.com Charlie posts this monologue in his soapbox. I want to share it with you, because in my opinion it is his best piece. Thank-you and Merry Christmas.



A CAROLINA CHRISTMAS CAROL
A Christmas Monologue by Charlie Daniels


I might as well go ahead and tell you right up front: I believe in
Santa Claus. Now, you can believe or not believe, but I'm here to
tell you for a fact that there is a Santa Claus, and he does bring
toys and stuff like that on Christmas Eve night.

I know, I know. It sounds like I've had too much eggnog, don't it?All
I ask is that you wait till I get through telling my story before you
make up your mind.

When I was a kid, Christmas time had a magic to it that no other
season of the year had. There was just something in the air,
something that you couldn't put your finger on, but it was there, and
it affected everybody.

It seemed like everybody smiled and laughed more at that time of
year, even the people who didn't hardly smile and laugh the rest of
the year. "You reckon it's gonna snow? I sure do wish it'd snow this
year. Do you reckon it's gonna?" Heck no, it won't gonna snow. As far
as I know, it ain't never snowed in Wilmington, North Carolina, at
Christmas time in the whole history of man. It seemed like everybody
in the world had snow at Christmas except us.

In the funny papers, Nancy and Sluggo and Little Orphaned Annie had
snow to frolic around in at Christmas time. The Christmas cards had
snow. Bing Crosby even had snow to sing about.

But not one flake fell on Wilmington, North Carolina. But that didn't
dampen our spirits one little bit.

Our family celebrated Christmas to the hilt. We were a big, close-
knit family, and we'd gather up at Grandma's house every year. My
grandparents lived on a farm in Bladen County, about fifty miles from
Wilmington, and I just couldn't wait to get up there. They lived in a
great big old farmhouse, and every Christmas they'd fill it up with
their children and grandchildren. We'd always stay from the night of
the twenty-third through the morning of the twenty-sixth. There'd be
Uncle Clyde and Aunt Martha, Uncle Lacy and Aunt Selma, Uncle Leroy
and Aunt Mollie, Uncle Stewart and Aunt Opal, and my mama and daddy,
Ernest and Nadine. I won;t even go into how many children were there,
but take my word for it, there were a bunch.

There'd be people sleeping all over that big old house. We kids would
sleep on pallets on the floor, and we'd giggle and play till some of
the grown-ups would come and make us be quiet. All the usual ground
rules about eating were off for those days at Grandma's house. You
could eat as much pie and cake and candy as you could hold, and your
mama wouldn't say a word to you. My grandma would cook from sunup to
sundown and love every minute of it. She'd have cakes, pies candy,
fruit and nuts setting out all the time, and on top of that, she'd
cook three big meals a day. I mean, we eat like pigs.

Christmas was also the only time that my Granddaddy would take a
drink. It was a Southern custom of the time not to drink in front of
small children, so Granddaddy kept his drinking whiskey hid in the
barn. When he'd want to go out there and get him a snort, he'd say
that he had to go see if the mare had had her foal yet. It was a
good, good time. A little old-fashioned by some peoples standards,
but it suited us just fine.

If I'm not mistaken, it was the year I was five years old that my
cousin Buford told me that there wasn't any Santa Claus. Buford was
about nine at the time. He always was a mean-natured cuss. Still
is.Well, I just refused to believe him. I said, "You're telling a
great big fib, Buford Ray, 'cause Santa Claus comes to see me every
Christmas, right here at Grandma and Granddaddy's house."

"That ain't Santa Claus. That's your mama and daddy." One thing led
to another and I got so upset about the prospect of no Santa Claus
that I went running into the house crying.

"Grandma, Grandma! Buford says there ain't no Santa Claus! There is a
Santa Claus, ain't they, Grandma?"
"Of course there is, Curtis. Buford was just joking with you."

Aunt Selma heard me talking to Grandma and walked to the
door. "Buford Ray, get yourself in this house right this minute!"

When he came in, Aunt Selma grabbed him by the ear, led him into the
front room and swatted him.

Granddaddy was also a big defender of Santa Claus. He would talk
about Santa Claus like he was a personal friend of his. And the more
he went to check on the mare, the more he talked about Santa Claus,
or "Sandy Claws," as he called him.

"Yes, children, old Sandy Claws will be hitching up them reindeers
and heading on down this a-way before long,. Wonder what he's gonna
bring this year?"

He'd have us so excited by the time we went to bed that I reckon if
visions of sugarplums ever danced in anybody's heads, it was ours.

Christmas Eve night, after we had eat about as much supper as we
could hold, we'd go in the front room. There'd always be a big log
fire crackling in the fireplace, and Granddaddy would always say the
same thing.

"Children, do y'all know why we have Christmas every year?"

"Cause that's when the Baby Jesus was born."

"That's right. We're celebrating the Lord's birthday. Do y'all know
where He was born at?"

"In Bethlehem," we would all chime in.

"That's right, He was born in a stable in Bethlehem almost two
thousand years ago."

Then Granddaddy would put on his spectacles and read Saint Luke's
version of the Christmas story. Then, after we'd had family prayer,
Granddaddy would always get a twinkle in his eye. "I reckon I'd
better step out to the barn and see if that old mare hashad her baby
yet."

There was always a chorus of, "Can I go with you, Granddaddy?"

"Y'all had better stay in here by the fire. It's mighty cold
outside.I'll be right back."

When Granddaddy came back in the house, he'd always say, "I was on my
way back from the barn while ago, and I heard something that sounded
like bells a-tinkling, way back off yonder in the woods. I just can't
figure why bells would be ringing back in the woods this time of
night."

"It's Santa Claus! It's Santa Claus!"

"Well, now, I never thought of that. I wonder if it was old Sandy
Claws. You children better get to bed. You know he won't come to see
you as long as you're awake."

Then it was time to say good night. All the grandchildren would go
around hugging all the grown-ups. "Good night Grandma, good night
Granddaddy, good night Uncle Clyde, good night Aunt Mollie," and so
forth.

We would always try to stay awake, lying on our pallets until Santa
Claus got there, but we always lost the battle. It sounded like the
Third World War at Grandma's house on Christmas morning. There was
cap pistols going off and baby dolls crying, and all the children
hollering at the top of their lungs.

By the time the next school year started, I was six years old and in
the first grade. I kept thinking about what Buford had said. I didn't
want to believe it, but it kept slipping into the back door of my
mind.

At school, Buford was three grades ahead of me, but I'd still see him
sometimes. Every time he'd see me that whole year, he'd make it a
point to rub it in about Santa Claus.

He'd do something like get me around a bunch of his older buddies and
say, "Hey , you fellers, Curtis still believes in Santa Claus." And
they'd all laugh and point.

Away from any adult persuasion, I guess Buford finally wore me out. I
returned to Grandma's house the next year not believing that there
was a Santa Claus. Christmas lost a little of its mystique. Oh, I
still enjoyed it. I even pretended that I believed in "Sandy Claws"
for Granddaddy's benefit, but it wasn't the same.

Well, as you know, time marches on, children grow up and leave home,
including me.
I was living in Denver, Colorado, married, with a child, and I hadn't
been home for Christmas since our little daughter had been born. Dawn
was three that year, and this would be the first time that she really
knew about Santa Claus, and she was some kind of excited.

We had the best time shopping for her, buying all the little toys
that she wanted.

Daddy called me about three weeks before Christmas and said, "Son,
you know that your grandparents are getting old. They've requested
that all the children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren come
home the way we used to. Can you make it, son?"

"We'll be there, Daddy."

I couldn't think of a better place in the whole world for little Dawn
to spend her first real Christmas, so we packed up and headed for
North Carolina.

Grandma was eighty-two years old, but she still cooked all day long,
and she still enjoyed every minute of it.

Granddaddy was eighty-four, but he still had a twinkle in his eye and
a mare in the barn.
The old house was fuller than ever, with a whole new generation of
children in it. Even Buford. He had married, but he didn't have any
children. He didn't want any. One of my cousins said he figured
Buford was too stingy to have children.

Buford was still the same, except that he had changed from a boy with
a mean nature to a full-grown man with a cynical nature and a know-it-
all attitude.

Just before we went into the front room for family prayer and the
reading of the Christmas story, I overheard him say to somebody, "I
don't know why Granddaddy keeps filling the children's heads full of
that Santa Claus nonsense. I think it's ridiculous. If I had
children, I wouldn't let him tell them all that junk."

I looked hard at Buford. I had never liked him, and I liked him even
less now.

Our little daughter was so excited when Granddaddy started talking
about "Sandy Claws" that she jumped up and down and clapped her
hands.

When I took her up to bed, there was pure excitement in those big
brown eyes. "Santa Claus is coming, Daddy! Santa Claus is coming,
Daddy!"

I got a warm feeling all over, and I sure was glad to be back at
Grandma's house at Christmas time.

After all the children had gone to sleep, the grown-ups started going
out to their cars to get the toys they had brought for Santa Claus to
leave under the Christmas tree.

I decided to wait until everybody else had finished before I put
Dawn's presents out. This was a special time for me and I wanted to
enjoy it.

After everybody had gone up to bed, I went to the car to get Dawn's
toys. To my shock, I couldn't find them. I ran back into the house to
my wife. "Sylvia, where did you pack Dawn's Christmas presents?"

"I thought you packed them."

I was close to panic, but I didn't want Sylvia to know it. I
said, "Oh well, you just go on to bed, honey, and I'll look again. I
probably just overlooked them." I kissed my wife goodnight and went
back downstairs.

I knew I hadn't overlooked them. We had somehow forgot to pack them,
and they were two thousand miles away in Denver, Colorado.

I was a miserable man. I just didn't feel like I could face little
Dawn the next morning. She'd be so disappointed. All the other
children would have the toys that Santa had brought them, and my
beloved little daughter wouldn't have anything.

How could I have been so dumb? Here it was, twelve o'clock Christmas
Eve night, all the stores closed, everybody in bed, and me without a
single present for little Dawn. I was heartbroken.

I went into the front room and sat by the dying fire, dejected and
hopeless.

I don't know how long I sat there staring at the embers, but sometime
later on I heard a rustle behind me and somebody said, "You got a
match, son?"

I turned around and almost fell on the floor.

Standing not ten feet from me was a short , fat little man in a red
suit, with a long white beard and a pipe sticking out of his mouth.

I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. He looked at me and chuckled.

"Have you got a match, son? I ran out and I want to get this pipe
going."

When I finally got my voice back, all I could say was, "Who are you?"

"Well, people call me by different names in different parts of the
world, but around here they call me Santa Claus."

"No, I mean who are you really?"

I just told you, son. How about that match?"

I stumbled to the mantelpiece, got a kitchen match and gave it to him.

"Much obliged." He stood there lighting his pipe, with me looking at
him like he was a ghost or something.

"How did you get in here?"

"Oh, I've got my ways."

"I thought you were supposed to slide down the chimney."

"That's a common misconception. Would you slide down a chimney with a
fire at the bottom?"

"Well, no. I mean, no, sir."

"Well, neither would I."

"How did you get here?"

"I've got a sturdy sleigh and the finest team of reindeer a man could
have."

"But we ain't got snow."

Santa Claus laughed so hard that his considerable belly shook. "I
don't need snow. Half the places I go in the world don't have snow.
Besides, I like to get out of the snow once in a while. We have it
year-round at the North Pole, you know."

"You mean you really live at the North Pole?"

"Of course, I've always lived at the North Pole. Don't you know
anything about Santa Claus, son?"

"Well, yeah, but I thought it was all a big put-on for the children."

"That's the trouble with you grown-ups. You think that everything you
can't see is a put-on. It's a shame grown people can't be more like
children. They don't have any trouble believing in me."

"You mean you've really got a sleigh, with reindeer named Donner and
Blitzen and stuff like that?"

"That's right, son. There's Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen
and Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Of course, there's no
Rudolph with the red nose. I don't know who came up with that one.
Rudolph really is a put-on."

"But what are you doing here? Why did you come?"

"Because there's a little girl in this house who believes in me very
much. Now, she'd be mighty disappointed to wake up Christmas morning
and have nothing under the tree."

"You mean you a came all the way here just because one little girl
believes in you?"

"That's right, son. There's magic in believing. Besides, she's not
the only one in this house who believes in me."

"Who else?"

"Why, your grandfather, of course."

"You mean Granddaddy wasn't putting us on all those years? He really
believed in you?"

"Of course he believed in me."

"Well, why do you do this?"

"It's my way of celebrating the most important birthday in the
history of man. Our Lord has given us so much. How can we do less?"

Santa Claus consulted a piece of paper he pulled out of his pocket
and started taking a doll and other toys out of a big bag he had
brought with him.

"Well, I've got to go, son. I've got a lot of stops to make before
sunup. It's been really nice talking to you. Thanks for the match."

"Can I help you with your bag, Santa Claus?"

"No, that's all right, son. I'm used to carrying it."

I walked outside with him. "Where's your sleigh, Santa Claus?"

"It's parked right over there in the edge of the woods. You can come
over and see it if you like."

I started walking over to his sleigh with him, but then I had a
thought.

"I'm gonna have to miss seeing your sleigh and reindeer. Thank you so
very much. You saved my life. God bless you, Santa Claus. I'll see
you next year."

"God bless you, too, son and a Merry Christmas to you and yours."

Santa Claus started across the yard toward his sleigh, and I went
running back in the house like a wild man. I raced up the stairs.

"Buford, Buford, get up!"

"What's the matter, is the house on fire?"

"No, but hurry. Come out on the upstairs porch."

Buford grumbled as he got up and followed me out on the upstairs
porch.

"What the heck do you want? It's cold out here."

"Just hush up and listen."

Well, we listened by a full minute and nothing happened.

"You're crazy. I'm going back to bed."

"Buford, if you go back in the house, you're gonna miss something
that I want you, above all people, to see."

We waited for a little while longer and I had almost given up when I
heard it. It was just a little tinkle at first, hanging on the frosty
air and getting louder by the second. It was sleigh bells!

Buford looked at me and said, "Curtis, is this some kind of joke or
something?"

"No, Buford, I swear it ain't. Just wait a minute now!"

The sound of sleigh bells was getting louder and Buford's face was
getting whiter. "You got somebody out there doing that, ain't you?
Admit it! You got somebody out there, ain't you?"

I didn't say a word. All of a sudden it sounded like somebody had
flushed a covey of quail. That sleigh came up out of the woods and
headed west, hovering just above the treetops.

Buford was speechless. I thought he was gonna pass out. He held on to
the banister and took deep breaths. Even if you believe so far, I
know you ain't gonna believe this next part, but it really happened.
Santa Claus made a big circle and turned and flew right around he
house. I bet he won't over twenty feet from the upstairs porch when
he passes by me and Buford.

Old Santa Claus could really handle them reindeer. Then he headed
west again, moving at a pretty good clip this time.

I hate to even tell you this next part, 'cause you'll think I took it
right out of the book, but I didn't. Anyway, just about the time he
was getting out of our hearing, he hollered, "Merry Christmas,
everybody!"

And then he was gone.

"Curtis, do you know where Granddaddy keeps that bottle hid in the
barn? I need me a drink."

I don't believe that Buford ever told anybody about seeing Santa
Claus.

I know I didn't, not until now. But I just had to tell somebody about
it. It's been hard keeping it to myself all these years.

I'm a granddaddy myself now. That little girl that caused all this to
happen with her faith in Santa Claus is grown and married and has a
three-year-old girl and a five-year-old boy.

Me and Sylvia moved back to North Carolina many years ago and bought
a big old farmhouse. Now my grandchildren come and spend Christmas
with me and their grandmother. There's not as many of us as there was
at Grandma's house, but we have just as big a time and celebrate
Christmas just as hard.

In fact, Christmas is about the only time a year I'll take a drink. I
always get me a pint of Old Granddad at Christmas time. Since the
grandchildren are so small, I don't like to drink in front of them,
so I keep my drinking whiskey hid out in the barn.

When I want to go out there and get me a snort, I always tell the
grandchildren that I've got to see if the cows got corn. Of course,
all the grown-ups know why I'm going out to the barn, or at least
they think they do.

I always make my last trip to the barn after I've read the Christmas
story and had family prayer. Everybody thinks I'm going out to get me
a snort, but they're wrong.

I'm just going out to hear the sleigh bells ring.

[see'r]

thanks spacecowboy! was a pleasure to pull this one up to read today :good:

{{got a pretty good voice there too :ok: }}

[Pat]

SC :) I really enjoyed reading that. It was the icing on the cake of my Christmas. Thank you.

Now...have something for you to work on for next year. You had mentioned about having many sites for the lyrics to Christmas carols and songs. Many years ago, I purchased a CD of Christmas songs at (believe it or not) my local supermarket. It was Vol. 2 of a series of Christmas Classics (Listener's Choice).

The voices were the Bethlehem Children's Chorus. The first song on the CD was "...a brand new Christmas song written for this album....". The title of the song was The Colors of Christmas.

Its one of my favorites and I think our folks here would really like the lyrics. If you could find them for next year, that would be wonderful. If you can't, I'll listen to the CD and write them down and send them to you. (this will give you a head start for Christmas 2005 ;) ).

[SpaceCowboy]

You are welcome. That is quite an interesting piece of writing, and as I said he posts it every year so his fans are very familiar with it.

I will look for the song lyrics to that song, but I'm not sure if I have it. That said I'm always on the lookout for new lyrics sites, and it may turn up somewhere. I did say I have 9 sites of Christmas lyrics, but I also have 23 bookmarked total.




SC :) I really enjoyed reading that. It was the icing on the cake of my Christmas. Thank you.

Now...have something for you to work on for next year. You had mentioned about having many sites for the lyrics to Christmas carols and songs. Many years ago, I purchased a CD of Christmas songs at (believe it or not) my local supermarket. It was Vol. 2 of a series of Christmas Classics (Listener's Choice).

The voices were the Bethlehem Children's Chorus. The first song on the CD was "...a brand new Christmas song written for this album....". The title of the song was The Colors of Christmas.

Its one of my favorites and I think our folks here would really like the lyrics. If you could find them for next year, that would be wonderful. If you can't, I'll listen to the CD and write them down and send them to you. (this will give you a head start for Christmas 2005 ;) ).

[Pat]

SC, I'll start listening and writing the lyrics down for you....won't be a chore, 'cause I love listening to the song. I've never heard it anywhere else, but on that CD. When I complete it, I'll email it to you...so you'll be ready for next year. (might take me a bit of time..)

(now a cute one is "Darcy the Dragon"...and the only one I ever heard sing that was Roger Whittaker. (The Roger Whittaker Christmas Album). There's also one on that album called "The Governor's Dream" which is rather awesome.

As you can tell, I tend to like many of the "uncommon" holiday songs!!! ;)