Jay's Songs

[Jay_Quessir]

I Have to Move On
It’s been awhile
since I sat and smiled
Alone in my room.
And it’s been forever
Since I met you.
And it’s been a life-time
since I woke up knowing
I was going to make it
through the day,
Instead of just fading away

Chorus:
I’ve gotta start over new,
Gotta wake up and get over you..
That’s why I can’t live in the past,
Gotta look ahead and make it last.
I’ve gotta get over you.

It’s been a long time
Since I’ve had my self confidence.
And it’s been forever
Since I just hung out with friends.
And it’s been a life-time
Since we broke up.
That’s why I’m singing,
Singing I’ve gotta give you up.
And I’ve gotta

Chorus2:
I’ve got to start over new.
I’ve gotta wake up and get over you.
I’ve gotta put the past behind me
And move on.
I’ve gotta stop loving you.
I’ve gotta get over you.

But it’s your smile
That drives me wild,
It’s your hair
That flows in the wind,
It’s your eyes
That gazed at me lovingly
So long ago.
And that’s why I love you,
Why I need you,
Why I can’t let you go.
Cause I love you forever,
It will always be so.


But
Chorus2

But it’s hard to get past:
Your wisdom, your grace,
Your beautiful face,
Your smile, your hair,
Your eyes that intrance me.
I just can’t help
Falling and staying in love with you
No I can’t get over you,
But I have to.

Chorus2 (last line: I’ve gotta move on.)

I’ve got to start over,
Stop loving you.
I’ve got to start over new.
I’ve got to wake up and get over you.
I’ve gotta stop loving you.
I’ve gotta get over you.

It’s been forever since I saw your face
It’s been forever since I heard your voice
It’s been a life-time since I
Was standing next to you.
And it just makes it harder
To get over you--.

But
Chorus2

I’ve gotta start over new
I’ve gotta get over you
I’ve gotta put the past behind me and move on.
I’m gonna stop loving you.
I’m gonna get over you.

Whisper:
I’ve just have to let go
But I can’t live without you.
I must move on
I must let go.

Before I fade away—
Chorus
Chorus2



:banghead:

And There Was...No More
Finally Here...

All the time I hear it happening...
The laughter in their voices.
Everyday I just shrug it away
claiming it as noise.
But eventually, it starts to get to me
all those words come crashing through.
I break down in tears
and then there is no more.
I blacked out,
Forgot the worldy places, faces, and words.
I screamed out,
Let it go, let my thoughts fall into pieces.
And I smiled for the first time
No more tears to haunt me
There was bliss in my soul
And There Was...No More...

[Jay_Quessir]

You said you loved me,
You wanted me,
Needed me.
You professed your feelings
In the sincerest of ways.
But the sad thing is:
I believed you
And professed my own the same.
My life was full,
My soul complete.
Yet, I knew in the depths of my being
That there was something in your words I was not seeing.
I could sense the tension in your voice
And feel your body tense in my embrace.
And yet I trusted you to no avail.


Dateless at 15
They called me names,
Tore apart my style,
The mere thought of this
Drove me nearly wild.
They thought me queer,
And shunned me from their little ‘cliques.’
I was the outcast,
Alone in a crowd of lovers
The sole boy, dateless at 15.
I fought back the nagging,
All their boasting, and bragging.
I brushed away the pain
And called their mockery meaningless noise.
But I knew I would crack,
I knew I would break.
Yet I knew not when or why.
I tried to find a girl to love,
Tried to date and mingle with the crowd.
But they said I was a best friend and nothing more.
Oh Tragic fate, my doom has already been decided!
I will live alone, my entire miserable life.
And all this pain and turmoil was caused by just one thing:
I’m dateless at the horrid age of fifteen.


Where Were You?
I cried for hours on end, nonstop,
All curled up in my bed alone.
The tears pattered on my pillow
As I let out all the pain.
I knew not why I had broken down that day,
In the midst of fellow men.
I do not know why I felt so alone
In this world populated with so many people.
Yet, the tears formed and danced down my cheeks mockingly.
The stained lines revealing years of turmoil, of pain.
And as I lay there in my bed, I questioned the world:
Why did it have to be this way?
Why the stereotypes, the names?
Why is there a standard that few can achieve?
And I came upon the most sickening of all:
Where were you when my world caved in?
I thought you were my dearest of friends!
Where were you when the tears never would subside?
Why did you leave me to face the death of my soul, alone?
Is it too much to ask for you to be here with me?
Is it too much to request for a comforting arm around me?
You were supposed to be my protector, my adoration, my friend!
I suppose it was meant to all end in this way:
That I should have to face my end alone.
My fate was sealed that cold day,
Wrapped within my tears
And huddled in my heart.
The end was nigh
And as I said your name that final time,
The world slowly faded away
And the pain was gone, forever.

[Jay_Quessir]

Keep Me

A tear
Rolling down my face
A Smile
All together fake
A laugh
Void in this barren place
My dreams
slowly fading away

And all the joy in the world about me
the voices of the children laughing
the hope of a brighter tomorrow
can't keep me from my sorrow.

There was beauty in the world
pleasure in meeting a girl
Happiness in the darkest places,
light radiating from my face
when she walked into the room.
But that was before

Chorus:
The tortures of those fools
Taking over my soul
Breaking me down
Picking me apart
And I can't take it anymore
They keep me
Keep me
Keep Me locked up inside.

There's no bruises,
there's no scars,
on me...
But on the inside,
I have a shattered heart.
Just thanks to...

Chorus...

Keep me...Keep me...Keep me.........In sorrow

Voices
You know when you hear the voices
you cry inside.
You know when you see the faces
You run and hide.
And when I look at you,
I see the pain in your eyes...

Chorus:
That's why I fear the voices
Haunting my everything
What they say...
(you're nothing)
What they say...
(you're ugly)
tearing me up inside
and taking over...
and that's why I fear the voie
...and wanna break free...

(Gossip sequence)
(2 teenage girls)
"Did you see him?"
"Ugh...he is so lame."
"Total loser"
"Ugly, too."
"Yeah, what girl'd want him?"
(3 piano keys struck)
(2 teenage boys)
"Outcast."
"dork."
"Yeah, he's a nobody."
"Wannabe"
"Queer, more like..."
"Homo!"

(whispered)
The unbereable,
the unstoppable,
(melancholy sing-song) relentless torment
Voices in my head
Voices in my head!
VOICES IN MY HEAD!
(loud drumroll then silence)

And I can't take it
It's breaking me
Echoes of those voices
adding to the noise
slowly killing me
with a dull, dull knife.

Chorus
And I'm breaking free...


D's Song
I wasn't looking for love
but I found it in you
Friendship was all I wanted
but now I want more.
I hope you feel the same way, too
but it's alright if you don't.
Cause I'll still love you
until the end of time.

It was so strange to wake up,
To realize I felt this way.
I didn't see it coming,
There were no warnings,
it just hit me in the heart.

And it's so amazing
How love can just sweep you off your feet
And it's so wonderful
The way you smile and laugh and look at me.
And it's all I ever wanted
To just see you
To just speak to you
To just be near you
every day...

Chorus:
You are my world
I wanna make you my girl
You are my life
I can spend a moment without you.
I need you here
Need you by my side
You make me whole
Girl, you are my world...

You are the rising of the sun
You are the rain to wash away the pain
You are the love of my life
Without you, I go insane.
You're all I ever wanted
And all I ever need.
So I'll ask you one question
Will you go out with me?

But before you can answer,
I need tell you one thing.
It's been on my mind
all night and day.
Girl...

Chorus

Girl...You're my everthing


Rejection
(spoken)
No Way
Uh uh
Never
No How
Not any day
NO!

Chorus:
I was rejected
and pushed away.
I asker her please,
baby won't you stay.
But she just sighed
Gave a smile
And said No
So I was rejected today.

I had fallen in love with her
In love with the way she smiled.
Couldn't keep my eyes off her.
Wanted to be together.
Got up the courage to ask her.
Called her up on the phone.
Said what I needed to say
Then I asked her out.
But to my dismay:

Chorus

Maybe not today
I'll try again tomorrow.
Maybe she'll yes...
But not today
Because

Chorus..
I was rejected today...
(sigh)
><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><
^^^^Not happened yet with D...This is from a different girl^^^^
><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><_><

[Jay_Quessir]

Into The Breeze
It seemed like perfection
when they held hands.
They knew it would last forever
until the very end.
But not all things are meant to last
And their love would soon fade away
Into that...

Chorus
Cold Summer Breeze
Chasing away their everything.
THat cold summer breeze
Wiping away the tears.
Thos cold summer Days
Feel Like Eternity
When You're All Alone.

Ten Years later,
they meet on the street.
Gave quick 'hellos'
And then past away.
Remembering the love
that should have lasted
But faded away
into that...

Chorus
They're all alone...

'Til Another Day
(Me singing)
It was the pressure
of that simple question,
it was anxiety
about losing such a frienship.
His heart was beating so fast,
he met her at the shopping mall
And he asked:

Baby do you love me?
Do you wanna go out with me?
Darlin, do you wanna go on a date
to the cinema?
Or do you just wann hang out?
Baby do you love me?

He smiled at her
Waiting for an answer
But that smile soon faded
When she said:

Sub Chorus:
(Girl singing)
Baby, I'm sorry!
Please don't hate me.
But I don't love oyu
OH NO NO NO, not that way...
Maybe we can just be friends
'til another day.

He sat down alone in his room
Rethinking what she said.
He cried to himself
He knew it was the end...
The words she said were hollow
Another day would be the same.
If he asked her again...
He knew what she'd say...

Sub Chorus

[Jay_Quessir]

Ok, here's a song I wrote for a friend. She's gonna be big some day and asked me to be her song writer when she gets there so I decided to suprise her with this. :)

Her mom in bipolar and is rather abusive so I decided to write about things that I knew about (like pain and hurt and all that it does to you inside) and that which I don't (the abuse of a mother). Since I didn't write directly from experience, I took the pain of peers' ridicule.

Alisan's Song

You broke my heart
From the outside in.
You tore me apart
And took away my life
I can’t believe you said
All those hateful words.
Every move I made
Wasn’t good enough
So I got what you said
I deserved.

Chorus:
Now I cry on the inside
Hiding my pain from the world
And I sit alone to wonder
How could you do this
Do this to your baby girl.
Mommy why?
Mommy why
Did you make me cry?


It hasn’t been the same
Since he left you.
You’re the two-headed coin
That I’ll never win against.
You’re the pain
That throbs in my arms
To remind of yesterday
And tomorrow
And today…

Chorus

You’re the pain
To remind me of yesterday
And tomorrow
And today…

[Jay_Quessir]

Here's another song for Alisan...

When Tomorrow Breaks...

I watch the sky overhead
As I lay down to rest.
Staring out my window
I cry all alone.
Falling alseep to my
gentle sobs into my pillow.

At night I dream
Of something to take it all away.
My knight in shining armor
My rescuer, my savior, salvation...
And for once in my life
I smile inside
Thinking of tomorrow....

Chorus:
When the dawn will break
When the day will take it all away.
When the light will come
When it'll be over.
I still love her
No matter what she did.
But I pray
For tomorrow to break all the pain.

Where has everyone gone?
Where is my shelter?
I thought I had someone to hold
But I can't hug my own mother.
I had a boy but lost him too.
The pain inside
forever insues.
It grows and grows
as troubles pass my way.
But when I see the setting sun
I think of a brighter day...

Chorus

Just take it all away...
My hero, where are you?
My lover, where have you been?
Come and save me!
Take me away!
My hero, my savior, salvation...

I'll close my eyes
and it'll all be alright
cause he's coming
in the morning light.
He's coming to save me.
I just wait for

Chorus

And rescue me

[Jay_Quessir]

Random Poetry of Jay!

You said you loved me,
You wanted me,
Needed me.
You professed your feelings
In the sincerest of ways.
But the sad thing is:
I believed you
And professed my own the same.
My life was full,
My soul complete.
Yet, I knew in the depths of my being
That there was something in your words I was not seeing.
I could sense the tension in your voice
And feel your body tense in my embrace.
And yet I trusted you to no avail.


Dateless at 15
They called me names,
Tore apart my style,
The mere thought of this
Drove me nearly wild.
They thought me queer,
And shunned me from their little ‘cliques.’
I was the outcast,
Alone in a crowd of lovers
The sole boy, dateless at 15.
I fought back the nagging,
All their boasting, and bragging.
I brushed away the pain
And called their mockery meaningless noise.
But I knew I would crack,
I knew I would break.
Yet I knew not when or why.
I tried to find a girl to love,
Tried to date and mingle with the crowd.
But they said I was a best friend and nothing more.
Oh Tragic fate, my doom has already been decided!
I will live alone, my entire miserable life.
And all this pain and turmoil was caused by just one thing:
I’m dateless at the horrid age of fifteen.


Where Were You?
I cried for hours on end, nonstop,
All curled up in my bed alone.
The tears pattered on my pillow
As I let out all the pain.
I knew not why I had broken down that day,
In the midst of fellow men.
I do not know why I felt so alone
In this world populated with so many people.
Yet, the tears formed and danced down my cheeks mockingly.
The stained lines revealing years of turmoil, of pain.
And as I lay there in my bed, I questioned the world:
Why did it have to be this way?
Why the stereotypes, the names?
Why is there a standard that few can achieve?
And I came upon the most sickening of all:
Where were you when my world caved in?
I thought you were my dearest of friends!
Where were you when the tears never would subside?
Why did you leave me to face the death of my soul, alone?
Is it too much to ask for you to be here with me?
Is it too much to request for a comforting arm around me?
You were supposed to be my protector, my adoration, my friend!
I suppose it was meant to all end in this way:
That I should have to face my end alone.
My fate was sealed that cold day,
Wrapped within my tears
And huddled in my heart.
The end was nigh
And as I said your name that final time,
The world slowly faded away
And the pain was gone, forever.

[Jay_Quessir]

I know
I didn't help you when you fell
But it's not like you came rushing in
When I cried help
You make me angry sometimes
With your little mood swings
You think you're the whole world and it revolves around you.
You think you're that center of everyone's needs.
But I got some news for you.

Chorus:
You're not the center of the universe.
You don't have everyone's attention.
You're not ever gonna be
The object of ever girl's desire.
And I don't know why you think you are mine.

And I don't know
Why you think that I am yours
Cause I"m not anymore

You threw me out,
then came back crawling on your knees.
Beggin’ me to accept you again.
But I'm not gonna anymore.
I'm so over you and your annoying attitude.
Why don't you just give up, grow up
and be the man I know you can be.
But I got some knews for you
IF you think that you're the one
If you think that I love you anymore.

Chorus

You're not the center
Not the center
Not the center of the universe
You're not on my mind.
SO get out...
Get out
And don't come crawling back again.

You're so annoying.
With your boyish attitude.
I can’t believe you said that
And you pleaded
As if you didn't mean what you said.

Chorus:

And I can't believe you
I won't accept you
Again...

Chorus

Get up off your knees
You're begging baby please
It's not gonna work anymore.
So just leave.


It’s was so frustrating
To have to face him again.
So irritating, when I thought he was my boyfriend.
To see the look in his eyes
When he saw her.
And it broke my heart
When he gave me that awkward smile.
It’s obvious he doesn’t love me anymore.

Chorus:
That’s why I have to tell him…
I’m walking out that door.
I’ve got to tell him
He’s not the center of my life,
Anymore.


There’s a time in life
You have to realize
That the world’s an ugly place
That people tell you lies.
There’s a time in the night
when you have to wake up
and stop living in your dreams.
But I don’t want that time to be now.

Chorus:
I want to stay young forever
Don’t want to take the pain.
I don’t want to have to face the world.
I want to stay young forever
Never to grow old.
I want to fly away to some distant
And never ever return
Never ever return again
Cuase I don’t want to grow
I want to be able make mistakes again
I want to be able to live a life worth living
Without the pain, without all the worries.
I want to stay young forever.
I don’t want to grow up. Don’t want to grow up
Don’t want to grow up today.

There’s fighting when you get that age.
Mood swings and everything.
I know there’s lying, cheating, deceiving
I know there’s backstabbing.
That’s why I don’t want to grow up
never get older.
If I could just escape it forever
I would want to, wouldn’t have to
Ever face the pain.

Chorus

But I know I can’t stay young forever
I have to grow up and just accept it.
But that’s life…that’s life…

Don’t want to grow up…
Never face the pain…

I have to grow up…I have to grow
I have to suck it up and grow up today…
Cause that’s just life…just life…that’s life…
LIFE SUCKS

== == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == ==

What’s the matter little girl?
Is a boy being mean to you again?
What’s the matter freshman?
Did someone backstab you again?
Did you get in another fight?
Was someone telling you lies?
What’s the matter senior?
Did a girl dump you today?

But I’m sorry that you have to realize:

Chorus:
That’s the world
That’s the way it is.
There’s gonna be
pain and hardship
lightening and thunder rolling overhead.
Get used to that
Cause you’re not bigger than that.
Cause you have to face the pain
Over and over and over again.
I don’t care what you think.
That’s the world, that’s life.
So suck it up and get over it.

You just have to face it
You just have to take it.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

I cry at night
B/C I don’t live up to expectations.
I have set the bar far too high.
Now I see inside of me
That his perfection shall never be.
And I know
I can’t live up to expectations
Not ever to their expectations
Not to my expectations.

And to add to all the pain,
I see all the tortures, the torment
the names and the blame.
The teasing and mocking
driving me insane.
And it adds to my low self-esteem.
My lack of confidence growing.
Here I am…who is me?

Chorus:
I can’t live up to all their expectations
I set the bar far too high.
I’ve tried to climb over mountains
That reach the sky
I’ve tried to swim across oceans
Far too wide.
I’ve run the road of life
Attempting to jump over hurdles
but falling on my face each time I try.
Tried to face up to expectations
Their annoying expectations.
My highest expectations…
Breaking me every day

But I found one reason to face the pain:
I need to make my momma proud of me some day.
I need to make up for the loss of her biggest dreams.
To succeed in all and everything
To keep my mouth shut when she says
To just agree and nod my head.
Just to make her proud of me.
I don’t want to face her again,
When I fail her expectations
When I fail her again.

Chorus…

And I see the pain around me
Trying to live up to everyone’s dream for me.
I have to overlook my desires…
And live up to their everything…

= = = = = = = = = = = =
And now I see in front of me,
The pain and torment
The misery.
I hear the names, I see the faces.
I can sense the laugh when they look at me.
Is it the way I look? The way I sound?
Is it because I’ll never wear a frown?
Why do they look down on me?

When the call me names I fear,
I’m gonna break, I’m gonna take out my anger.
But I hold it back
I try to fight it inside
But it keeps coming back stronger each time
Until I reach my

Chorus:
Breaking Point
When I’m gonna let it all blow
When I’m gonna tell them how it feels
Really let it show that I’m not gonna take it!
I can’t live up to what you want of me…
I’m not the world, I can’t be everything.
I’ll reach my breaking point
And Unleash myself on you

Everyday I face the name
I face all the burden, all the blame.
Everyday, it breaks me inside,
But my feeling I try to hide.
When I get home, I run to my room
And cry into my pillow.
The only source of comfort in this whole world.
And then I think of what you caused me.
All these years of mocking
Building up inside of.
Until I reach my…BREAKING POINT

Vocal Ad Lib…. La, la, da, la, dee, etc.

Till I reach my breaking point.
When I release myself on you!

Chorus

I’ll unleash myself on you

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
(upbeat)
You know what,
I told you good-bye (Oh whoa whoa)
And now its over
(Oh, oh yeah)
I can’t believe I don’t have to see
No more of that ugly pain
Don’t believe I don’t have to face it all again
(Baa Doe Be Doe Do)
(Baa baa duba dub dada)

I can’t believe
That I don’t have to see you
Don’t believe that it’s true
That I finally kicked you out the door.
(Ugh!)
And I don’t believe that it’s all over for me
I don’t have to put up with this anymore
I can’t believe that I can finally be free
To be who I wanna be, to be who’s me.

Chorus:
And now I’m happier than on a summer day.
Cloudless skies, hasn’t rained for days
And it’s beautiful outside in my little world.
Cause there’s not gonna be any more rain
In my perfect world…
I don’t have to see you any more
Not in my perfect.

You thought you had me,
Wrapped around you finger.
Guess what! I’m not!
And now your headed out the door.
(Boom Sha dooby do, Bam la da dee da)
(YEAH YEAH YEAH)

It’s finished
It’s over
I’m done
We’re through
No more me together with you.
I can’t believe I don’t have to face you again.

I’m glad…Glad that I kicked
Kicked you out the door
And Yeah I’m glad…glad to finally be
Be free and do what’s best for me.

Chorus

And the weather outside is wonderful
In my little world, I’m a happy girl.
In my perfect world, I don’t have to fight this strife.
Don’t have to face torment, no more pain…
Goodbye all the rain!
In my perfect world…

Chorus

In my perfect world…
I don’t have to see you
No more rainy days
No more gray clouds
In my
In my perfect
In my perfect
In my perfect….world…
IN MY PERFECT WORLD!


= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Bipolarity
I love you and wanna be with you forever.
There’s nothing in the world that could get me down.
I’m happiest being here with you
But every place is sunny and bright.
No one’s out to get me, everyone’s on my side.
And I realize you’re the one for me.
I never want to let you go
Because I love you so.

(Darker Background music…4 measures)

I hate! Get out of my life!
You’re so annoying, causing me so much strife!
How could I ever of thought you perfect?
You’re not even all that handsome!
I don’t know why you think you are!
Just leave me alone forever!
I’m totally out of love with you!
Leave me alone, leave me alone.
I’m over you.

Chorus:
Sometimes I just can’t help it
Sometimes I love the world
But sometimes I it all so much!
Sometimes I’m nice and calm
But others I’m real angry.
I guess It’s because
of my horrid bipolarity.
One minute I’m happy
The next I’m sad!
One minute I’m angry!
The next I’m glad.
Sometimes it’s frustrating
To have this type of pain.
But then I get over it
And then I go insane!
It’s bipolarity!

[Jay_Quessir]

As all my songs started, I was singing random words and then I looked up and saw half a moon above me. I was in the back of a pickup truck riding down a little paved road leading to the lake. The stars were fairly dim and I don't know why but I started to get tears in my eyes (maybe the wind.) Then these words formed on my lips...I sang:


It's not alwasy gonna be a full moon
The stars don't always shine for you
But if you just keep believing
A light will shine through...

Chorus:

Don't waste your wishes on shotting stars
Just look for what is real
And Be who you are
Don't just hope for the best
All you have to do
Is be the best you are

And if the sun sets behind the clouds
Don't give up, Stand tall and proud.
There's no shame in falling
As long as you get up again...

So
Chorus

When tomorrow seems like it'll never come
When the rain clouds form in the sky
When despair and misery take over
just spread your winds a fly

Chorus

And you'll find your way home,
If you just try...to fly!

[Jay_Quessir]

Look into the HALLWAY I call my soul
Look down the corridor I despise
Look into the darkness
See my emptiness
You can be the light switch
To make it all bright...

Chorus:
Just don't short out
You're my final hope
Don't fade away
You're my only light
Don't leave me
To perish all alone
Because you are
My very living soul

I fall down
I stumble again
You're always there
To show me that you care
I smile evertime I see you
I smile in my dreams

When I'm feeling down
You'll be around
And I can always count on you
To help me through the darkest days.
Because you're my everything...

Chorus

Don't leave me alone...