Joke!

[Laurel]

If you are Blonde - quick - look away!


Norman and his blonde wife live in Calgary. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 centimeters of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 centimeters of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 centimeters of snow today. You must park ...*crackle* *static* "then the electric power goes out. Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?"

With love and understanding in his voice, Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time, dear?"

[Mausey]

If we're telling jokes ........ :laugh:


Where do you get dragon milk?




Short legged cows.:runaway:

[Jorine]

:applause:

[C_ris]

Again... if you are blonde, go thatatway!

jumping blonde
A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.

When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.

When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.

When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."

[Orianna]

Sorry to all the blondes.

My favorite blonde joke:::

What do you get when you put two blondes in the freezer?






Frosted Flakes :roll: ;)

[Ian]

Two blondes walk into a bar...








....you'd think one of them would've seen it ;)

[jjmouse]

:applause: Oh these ae good. :ok:

[Dawn]

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house.

His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewilderedly and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work you ask me what in the world I did all day?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

[granath]

Lovely, Dawn! :applause:

In the same vein:

The Chatty Wife

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:

"Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise
control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and
growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn
it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off
when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back
pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns
to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

She answers, "Only When He's Been Drinking,"

[scentman]

Warning - more blond humor

Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
me... I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him
in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says:

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster".

Gently he takes her hand and says, "Second, I'd advise you to relax.

Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."

NB: in America boxes of Kelloggs brand Corn Flakes have a rooster on the packaging. (Just in case this product is not available, or they have alternate packaging elsewhere in the world)

[Elisabetha]

lol :applause: :D

[-H-]

please find enclosed in the box your copy of word 1.0 for blondes , we hope this cut down product meets the needs you require ...

:fiend:

[C_ris]

that reminds me of a joke: