How old do you think is old enough to date?

[queenrider melody]

Read the title and you'll know the question. I want to ask a boy out, but I wanted to know how old other people think children should be to date. My teacher thinks we're too young. :roll:

[Danae]

My mom wouldn't let me start dating until I was 16. I think it was a very good idea because you have more life experience under your belt and you can make better decisions. Not to mention the fact you won't have to rely on someone else to take you places cause you'll be old enough to drive.

[Milo]

I didn't date anybody till age 16, and now I'm not dating anybody ever again. :D :roll: Or at least not for a while. :razz:

How old are you?

[Faren]

I was allowed to double date at 15 and date at 16. I think if you are younger than 15 it's probably not the best idea, but meeting in a group is ok.

[§Honeymouse§]

i started at about 14 ( but it was nothing serious or long term) but i has silly little things before that , i dont think you should really start dating untill about 14/15/16 but that only if you are mature , with todays peer pressure its getting younger and younger

[Milo]

i started at about 14 ( but it was nothing serious or long term) but i has silly little things before that , i dont think you should really start dating untill about 14/15/16 but that only if you are mature , with todays peer pressure its getting younger and younger
No kidding. Some of my friends were "dating" at 11? wth?

[Priscilla]

I find it interesting that a teacher is saying much of anything about this. It's really up to your parents and his parents! By the way, how old are both of you? ;) My daughter didn't start dating until she was almost 21, and her boyfriend now lives with us. My son hasn't found anyone he really wants to date yet, and he's 19. So, early dating hasn't been an issue around here! :roll:

[Milo]

I find it interesting that a teacher is saying much of anything about this. It's really up to your parents and his parents! By the way, how old are both of you? ;) My daughter didn't start dating until she was almost 21, and her boyfriend now lives with us. My son hasn't found anyone he really wants to date yet, and he's 19. So, early dating hasn't been an issue around here! :roll:
My opinion is that some people are better off dating and some aren't. I'm one of the latter. I enjoy flirting :angel: but I'm keeping a nice friendly distance from relationships. :erm: :D

[NeouofPern]

It really depends on the person. Though in general I think 15 is a good age to start, my boyfriend is 13. So it boils down to the person.

[queenrider melody]

No kidding. Some of my friends were "dating" at 11? wth?
Umm...well... :erm: My friend and I are 11 years old, but I would have my mom and brother with me. My mom would probrably be o.k. with it, and I think that my friend's mom would be o.k. withit, too.

[NeouofPern]

11 is way too young to date. Most people haven't even hit puberty at 11. Any feelings you have for someone at 11 rarely last. And, it's just WRONG.

[queenrider melody]

11 is way too young to date. Most people haven't even hit puberty at 11. Any feelings you have for someone at 11 rarely last. And, it's just WRONG.
O.k., not a date, but a "get-together" with my friend, his mom, my mom, maybe my brother, and me. Probably just seeing a movie or maybe going to Barns&Noble or something.

[Milo]

O.k., not a date, but a "get-together" with my friend, his mom, my mom, maybe my brother, and me. Probably just seeing a movie or maybe going to Barns&Noble or something.
So basicly a big fun get together. :ok:

[Danae]

My mom wouldn't let me start dating until I was 16. I think it was a very good idea because you have more life experience under your belt and you can make better decisions. Not to mention the fact you won't have to rely on someone else to take you places cause you'll be old enough to drive.
Ok so I said I didn't start dating until I was 16, but actually I still haven't started dating and I am perfectly happy with it this way too. Nasty boys, who needs 'em. :evil:

[NeouofPern]

Off topic, but Danae, did you get your siggy off of neondragonart? I love that shirt. :D

[Danae]

Off topic, but Danae, did you get your siggy off of neondragonart? I love that shirt. :D
Crysania found the dark, evil overlord quote in a quote book of hers. It didn't say the author. And the evil monkey part came from the evil monkey that sits on my shoulder. He told me to write that, just like he makes me do all the evilness that I commit. :darkside:

[GoldriderAria]

Okay, bear with me, this answer is in order of reading the first post here...THEN getting to the new information!

In my personal opinion, people are old enough to 'date' when they are mentally mature enough to NOT CARE about dating. (Does that sound kind of reversed? I'm sure it does. No, I mean it.) It's a social phenomenon that I really don't understand why people want to do it as young as they start. I never have. I remember watching kids KISSING in the halls in my Junior High and thinking "what they hell. We're kids!" Of course I also know they were doing OTHER things now most likely as well *cringe.* If boys called me in Jr high I handed the phone to my Dad and said "Please get rid of them!" So he told them I couldn't date til I was 15. ;) When I was 14 I ran off (figuratively speaking, more like 'applied to' ;) ) an All-Girl's high school to get AWAY from them because I was sick of the immaturity that ran rampant in Jr High. My parents probably WOULD have let me date at 15 if I'd wanted to. My brother was certainly 'allowed' though he hasn't much. Girls haven't discovered how awesome he is yet. At least, not girls his age. He's too mature for their tastes apparently! Alas....I found most college males are just as immature. And, as a rule, I abjectly refused to date any male who didn't meet my standards (pulled entirely from novels and from guys I knew in real life who were too much like family to be anything but friends) for marrying material *grins*. And, it worked! So there's definitely no rush.

But on that note, There's *nothing* wrong with hanging out with friends of the opposite gender at ANY age. It just really depends on what 'dating' entails I think. Having a get together with him and his Mom and you and yours and a brother sounds perfectly fine and a lot of fun!

~Aria (ok... do I sound old/old-fashioned when I talk about this topic? Cause I did when I was 12 too!)

[NeouofPern]

Hmmm... I have to agree with you. I'm not sure if I'd be allowed to date yet, but quite frankly, I don't really care. I've never found anyone I want to bring home, except for on-line relationships... And thus far those aren't working too well for me. Like one of my closest friend says, wait for college.

[Bronze-Dragonrider]

IMHO, 11 years old is far too young to be seriously dating. It really depends on the person, people develop emotionally at different rates, but I think a person is ready to date when they have some actual experience in life, and are emotionally capable to take on a relationship, and are able to work out problems rationally when they come to them. I've seen far to many people suddenly break up at the slightest bump. If a person can't keep a relationship together after such a small thing, how are they supposed to handle the REAL life issues when they pop up? Such a young age as 11, the average person is just starting the changes toward adulthood, and its difficult for one to handle one's OWN changes and learn how to deal with that, let alone be romantically involved with another person and trying to handle those additional emotions. Once a person has a handle on themselves, knowing how to control their feelings, then they can start widening out. When a teen is going through puberty, their horomones go crazy, and their emotions are in a state of flux, which has many potention dangers in a relationship. Outburts and spats are more likely to happen, leaving both more vulnerable to hurt and heartbreak.

My definition of dating is something very serious, not to be taken lightly. It's taking another person's life and emotions into your hands, caring for that person, putting them before yourself. Serious dating is a search for a lifepartner, and I don't think that children can possibly be prepared for that. So many young people today look at is as just 'fun' and don't realize its implications.

However if it's a supevised 'get-together' to a movie or trip to the bookstore, that sounds simply like what friends would do, theres nothing objectionable about that to me. Sounds just like friends hanging out together, not really a date.

[Mausey]

I'd say 16 for both genders, although it is a matter of how mature you are. If you want to get together with a group and go to a movie or something, that's different. But for a couple date, wait until at least 16. Try this little test. (this is mainly for the 12 to 16 range :D ) You meet somebody and they ask you out. Your parents tell you, no you're too young, do you

a) throw a screaming hissy fit, yelling about how mature you are and you're grown up and your parents hate you and never let you have any fun. :roll: or

b) calmly explain that it's not just the 2 of you, but a group getting together to go to a movie and that you plan on being home by 10:30.

Guess who, in my opinion is old enough to date. Oh, and NEVER, NEVER lie about the group thing or you'll likely be grounded until you're 20. :laugh:

[Milo]

Note: friends of the opposite gender do NOT equate dating. 90% of my friends have been girls. Not sure why. Oh well. :D

[T'ley]

I'm 18 and I've never dated :( but thats really coz I din't see any girls till 13 (all boys primary school) and I am trying to get together with someone at the mo.
Age... Not till you're puberty coz fealings can go round like rockets and before then you aren't really old enough to know you really like someone. It is a verry complicate feeling and I need to think about it even at my age (even though I'm not really that old. I am resonably mature).

Just be friends for a while, be round each other. go out in groups with your friends and family. Think carefully. Just be sure you know yourself.

[Paulita]

I didn't go on my first serious date until I was 17 or was that 18 why well I was too busy getting educated, boys didn't interest me I was far to sensible (not that I didn't like them). I did a little flirting before then (and I'm still to a certain extent more of a flirter than a doer even if I'm married) and was freindily with a couple but I wasn't ready. You know when your ready to date seriously but 'going out' can be determined to a certain extent by your parents.

[carmella]

AS a kid I thought about 16, As a parent Maybe 30 or 40 would do. :bouncy:

[Bibliophilical_idiot]

depends on what "dating" consists of, but generally I would say 14, maybe 15.

[Monkeysrule]

High school or older, but stop dating at 30.

[Lady Arwyn]

I started dating at about age 13, which I think was about right. My sons both had their first dates in the last year or so, Chris at age 13, Sean at age 12. In both cases they met at the theater for a movie, hung out at the mall for a bit, then went their seperate ways to go home. Not much different than just a couple of friends meeting (although there was hand-holding and a little kissing going on, LOL).

The nature of the dates should be very different depending on age.

Appropriate early dates are a walk in the park, a movie, pizza out, etc, usually with a parent driving to and from the date. Maybe a friend's party. Oh, definately a school dance. That's always appropriate.

At about 15 the nature of the dates do and should change. They become more romantic. Parents are involved less, especially if one of the couple has a license and car. DInner and a movie, maybe a picnic at the park, etc. Even just hanging at the mall could still be considered to be a "date". If you put on the makeup, mess with your hair and worry about what you're wearing, it's a date!

I figure by age 17 dates are about the same as an adult. Of course I count 16 as an adult in all the ways that matter.

[ValAnn]

In this mommy's opinion, dating should probably begin during high school, as long as both parties have been thoroughly indoctrinated about responsible dating behavior. Boys should know not to allow themselves to be in a situation where they may be tempted to "go too far". Girls should know that they should not manipulate a boy to get what they want. Both should be in it for the fun and friendship, not romance. Physical intimacy should wait until both parties are ready for all the possible consequences of the act, especially pregnancy. "Going steady" (I don't know what they call it now) should wait until both parties are ready for marriage and children.

There! :2cent:

[Jayen]

I didn't go on my first date until I was 16 and a half.
But my younger stepsister, who is noe nearly 12, started going out with boys when she was 9 and a half.
In my opinion, I'd say you are old enough to date if you beleive deep inside that you are ready for it, emotionally, physically and mentally.
Thats just my two cents. :P

[Harper X]

I would suggest 15. Since I am that age and I am close to getting a girlfriend. Not quite there though.

[Monkeysrule]

Note: friends of the opposite gender do NOT equate dating. 90% of my friends have been girls. Not sure why. Oh well. :D
It's beacause you're a girl. So your driver's liscense says.

[Milo]

It's beacause you're a girl. So your driver's liscense says.
:razz: That was on my temps... I'm a dude again. :noface:

[C_ris]

:razz: That was on my temps... I'm a dude again. :noface:
reattached, was it? :evil:

[Zarkon]

I started dating when I was 12 and finished that relationship when I was 14. It got pretty serious. We had been really good friends before that and had done the family/friend dating thing, but I think it is better for kids to wait until they are older, like 16. Even if you're really mature for your age, you aren't ready for the emotional commitment.

And, the earlier you start doing physical things, the more comfortable you get used to them. And the more comfortable you are, the harder it is to "take it slow" when you're older. >_<

[Milo]

reattached, was it? :evil:
Modern medicine is quite amazing, I must say.

[Bronze-Dragonrider]

:razz: That was on my temps... I'm a dude again. :noface:
you flip-flop more than a catfish! :roll:

[Milo]

you flip-flop more than a catfish! :roll:
Or John Kerry even? :noface: :roll:

[Bronze-Dragonrider]

Or John Kerry even? :noface: :roll:
Didn't wanna delve into polotics... :p

[NeouofPern]

Or John Kerry even? :noface: :roll:
Hey, you're supposed to be the Democrat with me. :P

[geishagirl]

16 chaperoned. 18 date alone ;)

[Elianth]

I was allowed to go out with friends young. You know, like, "Mom, Megan, Josh, Cody, Fallon and I wanna go to the park. Can we?"

But then, probably when I hit thirteen, I wasn't allowed to go out with boys (even we were just friends) without another girl. Mom got all uneasy about it. I never really understood it, but oh well.

Double dates at fourteen.

Dating at fifteen.

[Bronze-Dragonrider]

Some of my best friends were girls and I was always allowed to spend time alone with them, when into my teen years. But then again, it was drilled into my head since early childhood I was NOT to date or be intimate with a girl unless I was prepared for a serious relationship, ie. toward marriage. So that stuck in my head pretty well for the most part, and I could be trusted.

[Shazza's Back]

Okay, having read this stuff I don't know whether I have done it right or completely wrong. Personally I think it is very hard to put a "one size fits all" age on dating. No two people are alike and there are some very mature kids out there. My almost 14 year old has NEVER been 13/14 in the head and probably never will be. Had her first serious boyfriend last year. No, they didn't go any further than holding hands but to her it was a big thing. Having said that much I also think it is a matter of trust. I trust her not to do anything foolish. We have had "the talk" and she realises the risks and frankly I really don't see anything more serious than holding hands at the movies for a long time yet.

In your case, Melody, your teacher doesn't get a say. EVER. Your mother is going with and to me that isn't even a real date. It is just a couple of mates going out and having some fun together. The fact that you ask what is the right age suggests to me that you are using your head. THAT tells me more than anything that you can be trusted not to get yourself into a situation you are not ready for yet.

[cwolf]

two friends of mine, ( who married a couple years ago after several years of being together) told me that they never once went on a date the whole time they were together. They just hung out and did things.


O.k., not a date, but a "get-together" with my friend, his mom, my mom, maybe my brother, and me. Probably just seeing a movie or maybe going to Barns&Noble or something.

[Keio]

16 or older is what I would say. Long way to go for me. At my age I just get to torture the boys.:evil: Poking fun of them has never been so much fun.

[scavenger131]

I'm personally undecided on the issue, some people claim to be going out at a very young age but I can't really say I've seen anyone going out at any age under about 15. So that would probably be the 'dating' age

[Keio]

Note: friends of the opposite gender do NOT equate dating. 90% of my friends have been girls. Not sure why. Oh well. :D
Go figure. Most of my friends have been boys. Most girls are just too girly for me. At my old school I always hung out with the boys. Occasionally girls. But then I went to St. Ed's and I was disgusted at what I saw. Girls were walking around the track and boys were playing football. If I hadn't been new and wearing a skirt I would have gone out and played. The girls thought the boys were disgusting. :roll: I did not like the beginning of our year.

Prissy whenches.:suspic:

[Lady Miacara]

I started dating at 13 and now at 32 I regret ever doing that as it was also when I had sex for the first time. Looking back I was no way in any form really mature enough to handle any relationship and all till I was in my 20's.

[queenrider melody]

Now, this is a totally different situation than when I started this thread and I know that most of you think that 12 years old is a bit too young to date, but I really need some advice and I didn't know where else to put this. I have a date with an old friend of mine, we're going to our first dance together, and I don't know how to act. Can someone give me some advice?

[Milo]

Now, this is a totally different situation than when I started this thread and I know that most of you think that 12 years old is a bit too young to date, but I really need some advice and I didn't know where else to put this. I have a date with an old friend of mine, we're going to our first dance together, and I don't know how to act. Can someone give me some advice?
Well, first you have to have a gaggle of girls in the bathroom, half of them crying. Then you have to have the guys and girls trying to dance with each other without actually TOUCHING their partner.... etc. :D

My advice: Dance your fancy little feet off, but not "that" dancing. :)

[Lady Arwyn]

Glares at the idiot male advice....

1) Be ready at the time your date says he'll pick you up, but stay in your room/bathroom for a minute or two after he arrives so that you can "make an entrance." But don't make him wait too long. Five minutes is too much. If you are meeting at the dance (parents driving you seperately) don't be late. But don't be early. Being early is stressful worrying if you have been stood up if he's even a second late.

2) Don't be clingy but don't be a pushover. If you are there on a date neither you nor he should be hanging out with seperate groups of friends. Try to find others who are "together" to hang out with.

3) Don't do fancy high heels. They may look great and make you feel awesome for a while but by the middle of both of my Proms (Junior and Senior) I wanted to cut my feet off at the ankles to reduce the pain before the dancing was in full swing. Try ballet flats or something else comfortable but dressy. Especially if you're taller than him which is very common at your age. It's easier to dance if you're close to the same height.

4) You WILL end up sweating in the gym (which is usually where such dances are held, so I'm assuming it's there) or in any other enclosed place with this kind of event. I don't know where you live, but dress assuming it's going to be hot and use a wrap or a jacket for going to and from the dance if it's chilly outside.

5) If you wear makeup, use it sparingly. Makeup plus sweat can create a spectacular mess.

6) Be certain at the very beginning exactly how far you are willing to go. If you're not ready to kiss or hold hands or other things that might come up on a date, know that BEFORE you go on the date. Once you're on the date things can get confusing or move fast. If you already know how far you are willing to go it's much easier to say "NO" if you reach that point.

7) At your age it would be best to treat your date as if he is one of your good friends. Not a best friend (unless he's earned it).

[queenrider melody]

Thanks, Arwyn. Your advice made a lot more sense that C'milo's.:roll: About me being taller than him, I think that I will need heels.(he's the tallest boy in our grade:roll: )

Anyway, thanks for the advice. Maybe, if I am lucky, I will land a kiss from him.:D

[§Honeymouse§]

i think i might be a bit late or early not sure, but how did the dance go?

[Bronze-Dragonrider]

Now, this is a totally different situation than when I started this thread and I know that most of you think that 12 years old is a bit too young to date, but I really need some advice and I didn't know where else to put this. I have a date with an old friend of mine, we're going to our first dance together, and I don't know how to act. Can someone give me some advice?
Well, I don't think you should have to "act" anything. Just be yourself. I know it'll likely get nervous, but chances are he'll be feeling the same way. Just Be yourself, be kind to him, enjoy yourselves and make sure that you DANCE :D

[Bronze-Dragonrider]

Glares at the idiot male advice....

1) Be ready at the time your date says he'll pick you up, but stay in your room/bathroom for a minute or two after he arrives so that you can "make an entrance." But don't make him wait too long. Five minutes is too much. If you are meeting at the dance (parents driving you seperately) don't be late. But don't be early. Being early is stressful worrying if you have been stood up if he's even a second late.

2) Don't be clingy but don't be a pushover. If you are there on a date neither you nor he should be hanging out with seperate groups of friends. Try to find others who are "together" to hang out with.

3) Don't do fancy high heels. They may look great and make you feel awesome for a while but by the middle of both of my Proms (Junior and Senior) I wanted to cut my feet off at the ankles to reduce the pain before the dancing was in full swing. Try ballet flats or something else comfortable but dressy. Especially if you're taller than him which is very common at your age. It's easier to dance if you're close to the same height.

4) You WILL end up sweating in the gym (which is usually where such dances are held, so I'm assuming it's there) or in any other enclosed place with this kind of event. I don't know where you live, but dress assuming it's going to be hot and use a wrap or a jacket for going to and from the dance if it's chilly outside.

5) If you wear makeup, use it sparingly. Makeup plus sweat can create a spectacular mess.

6) Be certain at the very beginning exactly how far you are willing to go. If you're not ready to kiss or hold hands or other things that might come up on a date, know that BEFORE you go on the date. Once you're on the date things can get confusing or move fast. If you already know how far you are willing to go it's much easier to say "NO" if you reach that point.

7) At your age it would be best to treat your date as if he is one of your good friends. Not a best friend (unless he's earned it).
Wow, now that's some spectacular advice :applause: *also glares at C'milo*

[Milo]

Oi! aside from being woefully incomplete, what was WRONG with my advice? :confused:

Oh, and as for the shoes, lots of girls (for instance my homecoming date) just shed the footwear as soon as they get there. :roll:

[queenrider melody]

i think i might be a bit late or early not sure, but how did the dance go?
You're a bit early. The dance isn't until this Friday.

[queenrider melody]

Oi! aside from being woefully incomplete, what was WRONG with my advice? :confused:

Oh, and as for the shoes, lots of girls (for instance my homecoming date) just shed the footwear as soon as they get there. :roll:
Let's just say that first of all I'm twelve, what makes you think that either of us will even THINK about dancing like that?:roll: Second, there's all the eight grade teachers plus my math teacher there keeping an eye on us and carrying rulers around to make sure that we are at least 12 in. away from each other while dancing.:roll: It's not wrong, just inappropriate for this middle school dance situation.

[Bronze-Dragonrider]

A foot away from each other while dancing?! :eek:

Hmm, reasonable I guess, I'm just used to the more close dancing :D

[queenrider melody]

A foot away from each other while dancing?! :eek:

Hmm, reasonable I guess, I'm just used to the more close dancing :D
My mom and I think that it's ridiculous.:roll:

[Lady Arwyn]

I thought that practice (keeping 12 inches away from each other, and rulers) died with the 60s :roll:

When I was in jr high (middle) school they were more worried about what the punch bowl was spiked with than how the kids were dancing.

I need to introduce you to my son, he's 12, gonna be 13 in December. Unfortunately for the girls I see throwing themselves at him (witnessed a cheerleader type approach him somewhat agressively after a football game, he barely noticed her existance) he's still oblivious to the whole thing. Funny, it's his third year at this school, he's mostly been known as a bookworm/choir geek. Now he's a first-string football player and suddenly everyone wants to be his friend -- and girlfriend :roll:

[Milo]

A foot away is absurd.

And don't worry. I don't think YOU would be dancing like that. But there are those, at your age, who would. :sad:

[queenrider melody]

A foot away is absurd.

And don't worry. I don't think YOU would be dancing like that. But there are those, at your age, who would. :sad:
I don't think so. We may laugh when one of our teachers talk about stuff like that, but the boys are still so immature that they would rather be fighting with girls than dancing with them at all.:roll: And that's kind of pathetic how girls will want to date a guy just because he's a football player, Lady Arwyn.

[Milo]

I don't think so. We may laugh when one of our teachers talk about stuff like that, but the boys are still so immature that they would rather be fighting with girls than dancing with them at all.:roll: And that's kind of pathetic how girls will want to date a guy just because he's a football player, Lady Arwyn.
Well, I'm glad that's the case at YOUR school. Because, y'know, it isn't everywhere.

[Danae]

I don't think so. We may laugh when one of our teachers talk about stuff like that, but the boys are still so immature that they would rather be fighting with girls than dancing with them at all.:roll: And that's kind of pathetic how girls will want to date a guy just because he's a football player, Lady Arwyn.
At my school, me and some friends crashed a junior high dance our junior year and the girls were dancing with each other like that!!! We couldn't believe it!

[orangerider]

I'd say 15 or 16 is old enough.