Rowan and Jeff?

[Feena_bronze_rider]

Was it just me or did anyone else think that The Rowan and Jeff's relationship started to quick, I can understand wanted to help a stranger but falling in love! Come on, even for a book it all seemed so fast!

[Lily]

There IS such a thing as love at first site Feena
:kiss: :heart: :wekiss: :hugs: :blush2: :note: :inlove:

(well, that's one way of putting a strong attraction) :D

[Feena_bronze_rider]

Okay..... :noface: I guess thats just me. :applause: Love at first site I guess.

[cewp]

Or love at first "touch" Hee Hee :D

[Dux]

Remember The Rowan has been pretty much isolated in her tower. She hasn't had much interaction with anyone she could consider as a mate. The thing she most wanted in a mate/husband was for that person to be her equal. When she first touched Jeff's mind she knew that this man was her equal - that added to his charm, looks, courage and ability to repel an alien invasion must have been a pretty heady (no pun intended) combination.

[granath]

She had been waiting quite a while for the right man to come along. When he did, she wasn't about to let him slip out of her grasp! It can happen that quickly.

A friend of mine met a guy at a train station, had a few dates with him before he was transferred to Japan. For 3 months they called each other every day, each of them having a three-figure phone bill per month. After that she moved there to be with him. After 6 months she had to marry him to be able to renew her visa. They're still married after 5 years, and as far as I know, very, very happy. Only they've lived in Taiwan after Tokyo and are now in Sydney. :ok:

[JayEgo]

On similar lines to Dux, I think it was all about the depth of understanding generated between the pair through their mental encounters early on. They would have been able to 'see' each other as we have never had the luxury with our partners and known straight away that they would be compatible and almost destined...?

Ja¥son xx

[Feena_bronze_rider]

Like I said, it was probably just me.

[Mitch]

Actually, I'm on your side, Feena. I can understand love at first sight/ "touch", but the Rowan and Jeff went from "Hot DAMN" to the horizontal tango in nothing flat.

So did Damia and Afra.

Chalk it up to Anne's seeming insistence on True Love Conquers All (tm)

But what REALLY, HUGELY offends me is the whole Laria/Kincaid thing. I just ... ACK. Kincaid was GAY, fer chrissakes! *eyes her gay/lesbian friends, all of whom would much rather be celibate than be with someone of the opposite sex) That Anne chose to do what she did in Tower and Hive between the two of them really rubs me the wrong way.

But then, when the heck has Anne ever been known to portray same sex relationships realistically *eyes the Pern series disgustedly*

[Brenda]

Was he gay or bi?

He had been hurt so badly, maybe he hadn't known he was bi...

I really don't know. I don't know if it was a good thing to do with the characters, but I thought it was well written.

[granath]

Actually Rowan and Jeff didn't jump into bed together right away, Jeff was simply too exhausted. They slept in the same bed, yes, but didn't have sex. Afra twigged that and wondered why not. Sex only came later.

I'm not very keen on Kincaid and Laria's relationship either. I guess that was a sort of dragon mating in reverse, i. e. the frustration from the 'dini dreams made him do it. She didn't object, because she found him attractive.

[Mitch]

No, Rowan and Jeff didn't do the tango that first day, physically. There are hints, however, that Jeff got ... frisky (for lack of a better term) mentally the very next morning, and every day thereafter long distance from Deneb ... read the Rowan and Damia books both if you don't believe me ... and they did consumate their relationship physically six days later. Damned fast work!

And Afra and Damia LITERALLY went from "Hot damn" to "horizontal tango" once Damia latched onto him. *grumbles*

As for Kincaid ... it is mentioned repeatedly that he's gay, not bi. Damia twigs that bit of info from him shortly after he arrives in Lyon's Pride, because he's so worn out and mind-blasted he can't begin to shield from her. And he makes reference to his preference himself several times. There is absolutely NO indication anywhere that he even glances at females ... until he and Laria get it on.

And the 'Dini angle only works for the first two times ... after that, their friends were in hibernation and they did it of their own free will.

*grumblesnarls*

Besides which ... being horny does NOT equate having to find relief with another person. There are ... other ways ... to take care of the problem!!!!!!!

I just find that whole thing offensive.

[Feena_bronze_rider]

YOu could call me an innocent reader... I never did like any of the explicit or gay relationships.

[granath]

Fair point about Damia. Still, I imagine that telepaths would know each other after one day more intimately than non-telepaths after a lifetime together, so I accept that they play by slightly different rules than we who will never know true mental intimacy (and I at least would be freaked if I even suspected someone could read my secret thoughts, they are mine alone) do.

It is also a cultural thing. I see nothing wrong in having sex on a first date. It may not be advisable, and can be dangerous from a health point of view, but I don't see anything morally wrong with it, provided both parties are consenting adults.

[Paulita]

It might seem quick but it was after all a meeting of minds. I'm sure they knew the minute thier minds touched that it was the real thing. Afra and Damia was a different case, Afra knew from the minute Damia was born that she was the one for him but was reluctant to do anything until Damia had reached adulthood and her hormones had settled, the restraint he showed when Damia had a teenage 'crush' on him proves to me that he was waiting for the right time and that wasn't it.

[Tygress]

It might seem quick but it was after all a meeting of minds. I'm sure they knew the minute thier minds touched that it was the real thing. Afra and Damia was a different case, Afra knew from the minute Damia was born that she was the one for him but was reluctant to do anything until Damia had reached adulthood and her hormones had settled, the restraint he showed when Damia had a teenage 'crush' on him proves to me that he was waiting for the right time and that wasn't it.

I do have to disagree with that one point. They did always have a special connection from her birth but it was not until she'd reached maturity that he realized she was "the one." I felt so bad for him having to wait through the "crush" stage and all her escapades.

I'm a romantic so only the Laria/Kincaid relationship gives me a twinge of.. "wait... what?"

[Brenda]

Afra waiting always bothered me more than Jeff not waiting. It's just kind of wierd to me - he was in his twenties when she was born, and he watches her grow up, and then he falls in love with her. I believe it could happen, I believe they could be happy - but it's wierd for me.

[Feena_bronze_rider]

It is a little weird.....
But I believe that the rules of normal humans and talents should be close if not the same. Just a thought.

[Azarias]

Afra waiting always bothered me more than Jeff not waiting. It's just kind of wierd to me - he was in his twenties when she was born, and he watches her grow up, and then he falls in love with her. I believe it could happen, I believe they could be happy - but it's wierd for me.

Anne likes the "waiting" angle: Damia and Afra, Mirrim and T'gellan, what's-her-name and what's-his-name (the young-teen Talent waif and the older Talent official in one of the Pegasus books). That may be a holdover from romance novels; I can imagine that some people find it romantic. I think it's more than a bit creepy and too close to pedophilia, myself. There's a difference between knowing someone significantly younger than you her entire life, becoming friends with her as she grows up, and one day realizing that you've gone and fallen in love with her (cute), and the other method of realizing when she's a child that you're in love with her and are just going to wait 'til she's legal to have sex with her (creepy). Afra may or may not have done the former, T'gellan may have been somewhat more culturally justified in doing the latter (in fact, waiting until she and her dragon were more mature and able to approach him as something akin to equals probably made him an unusually reserved man, by Pernese standards), but what's-his-name was just flat-out creepy.

[granath]

Yeah, the relationship between Tirla and Sasha was a bit weird.

I must confess that I really can't see what the problem is about Rowan and Jeff getting it on so quickly. They knew each other much better than any of us will ever know our partners, so the rules are bound to be different. Some people get married after knowing their future spouse for less than a month. That's reckless but their business. Besides which plenty of people go to bed on a first date, and while that isn't exactly advisable from a physical and mental health point of view, I don't think it's morally reprehensible as such either.

[Talstar(TalenaFiend)]

Ok then me and my SO are way wrong. We meet, in person, chatted online, and in person quite a few times, but the first time we ever alone together we were together and started our relationship. Have been very happy ever since. SO where did we go wrong. Basically the same thing Jeff and Rowan did.

[granath]

I don't think it's wrong at all, Talena.

[Talstar(TalenaFiend)]

thank you. Neither do I.

[Sammy]

Ok then me and my SO are way wrong. We meet, in person, chatted online, and in person quite a few times, but the first time we ever alone together we were together and started our relationship. Have been very happy ever since. SO where did we go wrong. Basically the same thing Jeff and Rowan did.

Hey

My husband and I also meet on line, chatted for about 8 months then finally meet and did the tango. Only really confirmed the physical side of our relastionship nothing more. Now we're really happy been married three years and have two wonderful boys.

[Sammy]

No, Rowan and Jeff didn't do the tango that first day, physically. There are hints, however, that Jeff got ... frisky (for lack of a better term) mentally the very next morning, and every day thereafter long distance from Deneb ... read the Rowan and Damia books both if you don't believe me ... and they did consumate their relationship physically six days later. Damned fast work!

And Afra and Damia LITERALLY went from "Hot damn" to "horizontal tango" once Damia latched onto him. *grumbles*

As for Kincaid ... it is mentioned repeatedly that he's gay, not bi. Damia twigs that bit of info from him shortly after he arrives in Lyon's Pride, because he's so worn out and mind-blasted he can't begin to shield from her. And he makes reference to his preference himself several times. There is absolutely NO indication anywhere that he even glances at females ... until he and Laria get it on.

And the 'Dini angle only works for the first two times ... after that, their friends were in hibernation and they did it of their own free will.

*grumblesnarls*

Besides which ... being horny does NOT equate having to find relief with another person. There are ... other ways ... to take care of the problem!!!!!!!

I just find that whole thing offensive.

Heheh Call me strange but none of this bothered me I mean after all it's Anne's books and she can write however she likes right?

Kincaid and Laria, I think just happened because of the repore they had linking every day with each other and knowing one another completly I saw it coming to be honest. Laria been totally lonely and Kincaid needing someone stable. I think someone mentioned in another thread that you love the person not the gender. I thought this was a great quote.

[Simon HoneyBear]

OK I don't actually remember Laria and Kincaid "getting it on so to speak". Havn't read the books for a while but the way I remember it is that when Kincaid arrived at Laria's Tower he was completly whiped out, so Laria did the whole 'talent massage / transference of engery thing' and because she was in physical contact with him discovered his sexual preference AND the fact he had recently been in vicious love triangle that had left him deeply emotionally scarred.

Then moving on to the big family get together at Damia and Afra's place, Damia clocks Kincaid sexual preference immediately and shares a knowing glance with Laria. All the while a younger off spring (Zara?? [The one studying medicine on Earth]) misses the sexual preference completly and has to be subtly redirected.

~~~

As to the whole "jumping in to bed" with someone when you first meet them, the universe all these characters live in is a very progressive one. I'm sure protection against both pregnancy and STD's are far more advanced than anything we have now. Early on in Damia when she returns from living in Deneb there is a comment about how she has been schooled in sexual ettiquette, and that she has (what I've always assumed to be an implant of some sort) protection againts pregnancy. Also when Afra gets taken to the brothel on Earth he has a blood sample taken from his ear which gets analysed to prove he has no sickness or disease, from this we can probably assume that regular health check ups would also check, and if needed, remedy any illness people may have.

What this boils down to is that sex is seen as far more relaxed in these books, so while it may offend some moral sensibilities in our day and age, for the characters in the book it is just a way of having fun!

Lastly, although The Rowan and Jeff had sex with in the first week of their relationship, they'd been together quite a while before they opened their minds fully to one another (when Jeff broke down all the mental blocks placed in Rowan mind and she remembered her parents). To me this is a far more significant and personal thing to share with any human.

Simon

[Lady Arwyn]

I agree, I always thought the Laria and Kinkaid thing was about loving the person, not the gender. Getting married and having sex with the opposite gender is a pretty common thing among gays. Not so common among those who already know their preference, but I know several gays who were married and had a perfectly healthy sex life with their opposite gender spouse.

My son's 5th grade teacher was openly gay (not bi) AND married to a woman.

A friend from high school's mother was lesbian but was married to his father for 10 years before he divorced her after he found out she was having an affair with another woman. When I last talked to her she was happy with her same-sex partner but still misses/loves her ex husband.

A friend in college was already confirmed gay and wanted kids. He married a woman with the agreement that it was only for the legal benefit of the child and they planned on a divorce after the child was born, but they fell in love and stayed together. He still eyes men when they go out together, as does she, and they make notes on which guys are hotter, then go home and have sex. They are a total hoot to go out with. :laugh:.

In all of these cases the gay partner has any interest in any other person of opposite gender, only the spouse. If they were to have an affair it would be with a person of same gender.

So, having personal experience with this, I had no problem accepting the Laria/Kinkaid relationship.

[Greenrider Tresa]

I like your way of looking at it, Lady Arwen. It makes sense.