A Request: The Sequel

[Cavatica]

So, with Dragon*Con fast approaching, and with a parcel of shiny new attendees, I thought it would be worthwhile to resurrect a thread from the OKT that seemed to be both popular and effective. If anyone wonders on what authority I speak--without meaning to sound pompous, but some of the n00bs might be wondering just who the heck I think I am, anyway--I've been attending Dragon*Con almost annually since 2000, and this will be my second year staffing at Weyrfest. This is an issue I've had some experience with.

The request is this:

Please, please, please, PLEASE wash yourselves.

Don't laugh. I'm dead serious.

I'd like to paint a picture for you.

Picture the population of an average-to-large American university: 20,000 people. If you were to envision one place where you could fit all of these people simultaneously, where would it be? Probably something like a football stadium, right? Now forget the football stadium. Make it two large hotels and some tightly-packed city streets. Put all 20,000 people here-- at once.

Now imagine that, oh, 10,000 of these people--and, let's face it, quite a few of them are not what one would refer to as "svelte"--are in costumes constructed from materials ranging anywhere from wool to heavy plastic, and that at any given time you are in physical contact with between one and five of them (you yourself are likely in costume, and may be wearing between one and three layers of clothing). Now set this whole thing at the end of August or the beginning of September and put it in Atlanta, Georgia, where summer doesn't officially end until February, sometimes March, and where it isn't unusual for daytime temperatures to average between 70 and 90 degrees Fahrenheit-- which, when one is in costume, roughly translates to about the temperature of the surface of the Sun.

This is Dragon*Con.

Now, none of us are going to be smelling like roses at the end of the day, with all that walking and jostling and standing around in lines going on. However, you can take precautions. In fact, there is absolutely no reason for you NOT to take precautions. If you DON'T take precautions, uppity knowitalls like me will have to become... well, uppity. And that's not pleasant for anyone.

Especially me.

I do not want to smell you.

The Hyatt and the Marriott are very, very nice hotels. The overflow hotels aren't too shabby, either. Chances are very much in your favor that, wherever you happen to be staying, one of your amenities will be a bathroom with a fully-functioning shower--which, by the way, you're paying for, and is something you might as well use if it absolutely must be there. Often, you'll find that your hotel of choice has furnished you with soap, lotion, and darling little bottles of shampoo and conditioner. If they've been remiss in doing so, it's an easy task to pick up the phone and request some.

Will wonders never cease.

Now, since we all know that the hotel-provided stuff is next to useless--and I'm pretty sure I could guess how many of you have waist-length hair you've been growing since you were 10--you'll likely want to bring your own soap, shampoo, and conditioner.

And toothpaste and a toothbrush. And deodorant (which you will want to re-apply about 10 million to the hundreth power times a day). And a hairbrush. If you're like me, you'll also be bringing a razor, facial scrub, astringent, body wash, and, yes, even a loufa (mine is blue; your mileage may vary).

You will be using these implements, at the least, once a day.

Yes, you will.

Yes. You. Will.

Now, you may be regarding your screen with some incredulity. Cavatica, you may be saying, I think you're overreacting. Surely adults who are capable of holding down jobs, parenting children, and maintaining a monthly subscription to Netflix are also capable of cleaning their own bodies without your snarky reminder.

You'd think so, wouldn't you?

But alas, no. The cliche of the fetid, oily-haired nerd is not, regrettably, unfounded. Randy Milholland of Something*Positive (http://www.somethingpositive.net) fame once actually handed out S*P logo-shaped soap at a convention as a hint to the more fragrant con attendees. Do not make me implement this tactic. While I'm sure we'd all love dragon-shaped soap, I'm the kind of person who would include a little extra lye just to make my point.

In conclusion: I've been going to Dragon*Con for a long time. I love Dragon*Con; I always have a really great time. I'm sure you all will, too. But let's leave the malodorousness to the Trekkies and the Star Wars geeks, who, believe me, will more than make up for our conscientious cleanliness. It'll take a lot of work, I know. But you, too, can know the joy and glory of a hot shower at the end of a long day of walking! You, too, can have the intense satisfaction of replying to the question, "How do you make your hair look so nice?" with "I washed it." You, too, can be the envy of all the wide-eyed fanboys (yes, even you, Koolness)! And, when you're crammed into an elevator built to hold ten people with twice that many and still everyone's trying to keep their distance from Jim the Jedi over there, you, too, can indulge in the ever-gratifying thought, "Man, am I glad I'm not THAT guy."

[Kat]

Thanks Cav... though I find myself always trying to type Cat

I am in TOTAL agreement.. I attended my first D*C last year and fates willing will be again.

WASH please!! And there's a Publix (grocery store) down the street..if you don't want to pay the upped price at the various stores at Peachtree Mall.(if you forgot to pack your supplies or run out).

Remember you'd much rather be remembered for your conversation and/or your costume than you stank to high heaven

[Lily]

About costumes: people pay a lot of money to have fantastic, rich, heavy costumes made for them. After you've worn them once, unless you're wearing light weight fabrics next to your skin which helps some, and that can be changed and washed often, the costumes themselves will take on that certain pong
In New Zealand, there's a spray on product called FABREZE that does a pretty good job of getting rid of pongs on costumes - oh, that could include smoke - even if you go outside to indulge. I presue that and similar are readily available.
So that can help too

Have fun - you've no idea how much I wish I could get to a D*C!

[Cavatica]

About costumes: people pay a lot of money to have fantastic, rich, heavy costumes made for them. After you've worn them once, unless you're wearing light weight fabrics next to your skin which helps some, and that can be changed and washed often, the costumes themselves will take on that certain pong
In New Zealand, there's a spray on product called FABREZE that does a pretty good job of getting rid of pongs on costumes - oh, that could include smoke - even if you go outside to indulge. I presue that and similar are readily available.
So that can help too

Have fun - you've no idea how much I wish I could get to a D*C! We, too, have Febreeze (or however the hell it's spelled). Excellent recommendation.

[Lily]

Fabreeze/Febreze? However?

Does need to be used freely and really soak the affected spot - which then needs to dry

[Anareth]

And you can always try the GenCon trick, though I'm not sure how well it would work at D*C as GenCon's a bit more specific--Gamer Soap. Gamer Soap has dice in the middle. The only way to get the dice? Use the soap. Sometimes it works. Last year we didn't notice any serious sense of Gamer Funk until Saturday or so. After six years of GenCon, the only thing I can think of that changed that was more dealers were selling Gamer Soap. Maybe if dice don't work you could try action figures.

Though from what I've heard of D*C, the funk is not so much the problem as the freaks. It apparently attracts more weirdos than GenCon, and finding people who are more 'focused' than gamers is a neat trick.

Anareth, member of Club Jade, whose 1999 GenCon button read "We Came, We Saw, We Showered".

[Cavatica]

Though from what I've heard of D*C, the funk is not so much the problem as the freaks. It apparently attracts more weirdos than GenCon, and finding people who are more 'focused' than gamers is a neat trick. This brings me to another point:

People. Boys, in particular (not necessarily the ones here so much-- this is a general note. Tell your friends). This is MY bubble. That is YOUR bubble. Have we met before? Have we had any meaningful physical contact beyond shaking hands and introducing ourselves?

No?

Then don't touch me. Please.

My mommy taught me not to take hugs from strangers, and I am sticking to that. Am I wearing a slightly revealing costume? Compliments are acceptable and appreciated. Do not put your hand on my waist. Do not put your hand on my back. Do not touch me in any form or I will be forced to cut the plastic ties peacekeeping my sword and point it either in your face or somewhere distinctly further south. I do not know you and you are creepy if you leer at me. This rule ESPECIALLY applies if you have not followed the request outlined above. You do not have rights to me, or ANY other person at Dragon*Con for that matter, simply because a.) I bathe and b.) I happen to be standing within ten feet of you.

The only male people who may touch me:

Koolness
C'jun
Swordboy (Yeah, that's right. You remember Swordboy, don't you, ladies.)
Any of my RL male buddies who happen to be in attendance.

That is it. You should err on the side of caution and assume EVERYONE has similar restrictions. If you want to test this rule, you should make sure you're wearing a cup. I can't guarantee I won't put cleats on my boots.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

Thank you.

[NeouofPern]

Luckily, I stayed at my aunt's house for D*C last year, so I was able to wash my clothes. But I remember... It was awful... I can't believe people will wear the same thing for three days not washing.

[Jax]

The problem is getting this information drilled into the brains of the people who really need it. I'd say you'd be preaching to the choir here - perhaps as staff, you could get them made into posters and post them everywhere :evil:

[Cavatica]

The problem is getting this information drilled into the brains of the people who really need it. I'd say you'd be preaching to the choir here - perhaps as staff, you could get them made into posters and post them everywhere :evil: Now THERE'S an idea.

OR I could use my amazing knowledge of science to build a makeshift personal forcefield that would temporarily paralyze anyone whose DNA didn't match the parameters programmed into the device...

...

Or I could just wear a sign around my neck.

[Lily]

How about a Globe Frog costume?

[Faren]

Now I remember why I missed you so much here, Cav. :good:

And Lily, if I could figure out how to make a globe frog costume, that would be fantastic. :cool:

[spellwight]

And no, coating yourself in perfume or cologne will not suffice.


After raising teenagers I'm fully aware of the "It's not me" phenomenon. People often adapt their own smell and assume it's someone else. Just know everyone will eventually become malodorous, so wash and disinfect accordingly. Also, give the benefit of the doubt to friends and make private suggestions when they need a deodorant touch-up.

Strangers you can treat accordingly. Hint: Klingons need to be approached carefully.

I myself would appreciate private and thoughtful reminders. But any rude and hurtful comments will be met with a spiteful sit-upon and an armpit application to your facial area. Even you Cavatica ;) .

[Jeffrey555]

Thanks for the reminders Cav.

I'll be attending the first time this year and would appreciate not fainting from the odor of hazardous body chemicals.This includes too much perfume or other artificial smelly stuff.

Also the no touching is not gender specific. I'm old, fat, funny looking, and male. I have a huge personal bubble and barely contained paranoia. Difficult as it might be to be believed, I don't want unsolicited touch from anyone including young attractive scantily clad women. There are consequences.

Don't believe me. Pull my finger. Old guys fight dirty.

[jjmouse]

I have considered putting together a little basket or two. Filled with basic toilet items. Hmmmm. Might could be a thought.

I do so hope that people bathe.

[Lily]

I have considered putting together a little basket or two. Filled with basic toilet items. Hmmmm. Might could be a thought.

I do so hope that people bathe.

As a little gift? You could add a clothes peg too!!!!

[Anareth]

After raising teenagers I'm fully aware of the "It's not me" phenomenon. People often adapt their own smell and assume it's someone else. Just know everyone will eventually become malodorous, so wash and disinfect accordingly. Also, give the benefit of the doubt to friends and make private suggestions when they need a deodorant touch-up.
.

See, the thing is, you will NOT become malodorous, even at a con, if you follow a couple basic steps:

1. Shower every night or morning. Even when I am crawling back from the suite at 3am, I still shower.

2. Change clothes every days. At the very least change the clothes worn against your skin. (Honestly, because I do costumes, I change more than once a day.)

3. Wear your preferred form of deodorant.

These SEEM like common-sense rules, but some people seem to have trouble with them.

[Shalyn]

Also:

DON'T BATHE IN PERFUME!!! There are people who are going to be going to D*C who have what is called in the medical world: Allergies. (While I am one of these people, I will most likely not be attending, but I felt this was important enough to say for those who will be.) And actually Cavatica, slight malodorousness is less life-threateningly offensive than overdone perfumation. (NOTE: I said slight.)

Granted, those with aforementioned allergies should take all possible precautions to stay alive at one of these conventions, but short of staying away altogether, it would be so much more enjoyable if people's odor - natural or purchased - does not enter the atmosphere of the next person's bubble.

(And yes - I understand about the personal bubble. I can hear you when you are standing *this far* away. You don't have to get in my face. And to answer your snarky comment - yes, I *am* one of those people.)

(The above was a scattered memory of a former co-worker of mine. He'd stand so close to me I could bite his nose off without moving. If it weren't for the fact that he made my skin crawl, I would have.)

(I digress)

Anyway - no perfume, cologne, after-shave, or bubblegum.

Oh, and I'd also stay away from beans, cabbage, sauerkraut, broccoli, cauliflower, etc. at least for a week before the *con. Interior odor is as bad (or worse) as exterior odor.

Or just carry Beano.

[Xhack]

Yes, what is it with personal hygiene? We are at least two generations away from the weekly tin tub in front of the kitchen fire. There is now no excuse for at least one bath/shower per day. If you're mean, share that water with someone you love.

But DO IT. Please.

An unassertive squirt of deodorant and some talc for feet and tender little places helps, too.

There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

*speaking as someone who found London Underground in summer my personal Hell* :erm:

[Sharon]

Cavatica...a rose by any other name.

You haven't lost your touch.

What you have said is true of any large gathering of people. In Atlanta, isn't there often high humidity? Humidity is a factor as well as heat, and the humidity can really bring out the pong.

We know why it used to be fashionable for ladies to carry scented handerchiefs. It's so there would be an alternative to getting a whiff of the more pugent persons they might come in contact with.

[spellwight]

:bump: because Dragon*Con is only 11 days away!


:scared:

[Koolness]

This goes for anyone in a heavy costume. I was around a couple last year that actually made my eyes water.

I'll have to admit that by Friday midnight I had sweated all the way through my leather armor BUT!! there is soap and a bathtub in the rooms. Wonders of modern technology.

I say that we should carry a fire extinguisher with us and douse the louse who doesnt care about the stink

I walked up to a wonderfully dressed young lady to ask her If I could take her picture and almost fainted when she turned around and stirred up the air.

READ and HEED :D

BTW cant wait to see you guys and get my paws on Cat in her skimpy costume

:devil:

[Lily]

:rofl2: Is this why so many of you have several costumes?
How effective is that "stink-be-gone" spray on stuff?

[scentman]

The most effective way to prevent a malodorous cloud is to bathe frequently with soap/bodywash, and to wash/dryclean your costume and clothes before you wear them a second time.

Deodorants are nothing more than solid fragrance, they are different from antiperspirants - they don't get rid of the malodor, they add a scent to it (in other words they try to mask the unpleasantness).
Antiperspirants are meant to keep you from sweating, they only work when you are not in the furnace summer, and when you don't exert yourself. Once you start sweating, they don't do a thing. They are not designed to prevent malodors, merely to prevent a slight sweat.
Febreze and other cloth-malodor removal stuff - these are again mainly fragrances with some secretive (dubious) claims as to odor neutralization.

I make scents, I hope the above makes sense! :D

[Calla]

I check myself to see if I am the stinky one...but you never really can tell if it is you, can you? I bathe, wear armpit stuff of the deod. plus antiper. variety. I don't wear any perfume. I stopped cause you can't wear it at most places of employment...and it makes me get a headache.

About personal space. OK...I give people room and they give me some. I'm not a huggy person. But if I know you and I like you .. you will probably get a hug goodbye when I leave. You'll know if you are indanger of getting a hug if I touch your arm once in a while during the weekend. See...I have to warm up to the hug - build up to it. Some of you...I will be so happy to see you again that i will lay a hug on you when I see you. Yes, I am very awkward when I do so...but I make a good attempt at it. And yes, since I am awkward I make my poor victim feel just as awkward. If you see me coming at you with a nervous, happy, and tenative look...you are the unlucky recepient of an attempted hug.

[Koolness]

I check myself to see if I am the stinky one...but you never really can tell if it is you, can you? I bathe, wear armpit stuff of the deod. plus antiper. variety. I don't wear any perfume. I stopped cause you can't wear it at most places of employment...and it makes me get a headache.

About personal space. OK...I give people room and they give me some. I'm not a huggy person. But if I know you and I like you .. you will probably get a hug goodbye when I leave. You'll know if you are indanger of getting a hug if I touch your arm once in a while during the weekend. See...I have to warm up to the hug - build up to it. Some of you...I will be so happy to see you again that i will lay a hug on you when I see you. Yes, I am very awkward when I do so...but I make a good attempt at it. And yes, since I am awkward I make my poor victim feel just as awkward. If you see me coming at you with a nervous, happy, and tenative look...you are the unlucky recepient of an attempted hug.

I'm a proffesional hugger and I give free lessons

:D

[cwolf]

Hmm.... actually I think it's the costumes that need to be washed too.

And you have to give these people a little bit of a break. Some of them don't get back to the room till 5 am. So their deodorant stopped working around 9 or 10 pm.

[Kat]

Hmm.... actually I think it's the costumes that need to be washed too.

And you have to give these people a little bit of a break. Some of them don't get back to the room till 5 am. So their deodorant stopped working around 9 or 10 pm.

No then they should make the effort to go refresh. Or bring the deorderant with them and go to the rest room and refresh

[cwolf]

ah... but some people are too drunk to realize they stink. and their friends are too drunk to realize where the smell is coming from.

No then they should make the effort to go refresh. Or bring the deorderant with them and go to the rest room and refresh

[Cavatica]

Redundant thread; requesting a lock or deletion.

[Ian]

Closed at Cav's request.