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ToDifferentToBeReal
26th September 2005, 11:22 PM
I think these are both kinda dumb but I always say that about my work so I want some else to read them, thats not me or my family. They are both Pern based poems. Ones about some girl in love with a bronze rider and the other is a queen ride talking lovingly to her queen, I guess. So please, read and let me know what you think.

My Golden Queen
Oh, my golden queen,
How I love you so.
And I will never,
Let you go.

Through wind and rain,
I will stay by your side.
Never to leave,
Not until we’ve died.

Though somehow I know,
You’ll be there for me too.
And all will be well,
That is what you’ll do.

I know this for,
I can feel it somehow.
Deep down in my heart,
I don’t know how.

My life was not whole,
Until I found you.
Now I know,
What I’ll do.

I will stay,
With you.
My golden queen,
That is what I’ll do.


Bronze Rider
Bronze rider, Bronze rider,
You have stolen my heart.
Oh, How great,
How great thou art.

Watching you,
On your great dragon.
As you dip and dive,
I wish I could have in.

Enjoy a ride
A-back a bronze with my love.
I shall feel,
As graceful as a dove.

If my wish shall
Ever come true.
I would pick you my love
That is what I would do.

If you would just spare me one little glimpse
A glance down from your dragon above.
Bronze rider, oh, Bronze rider
I need your love.

When you finally did spare me a look
With that tender look on your face
I felt I couldn’t breath
I stood up to run away.

I didn’t get very far from where I had sat
Watching you as you’d been gliding.
Watching and watching your graceful dragon soar
Hoping you would notice me, wishing.

You grabbed my arm
And spun me around.
I looked into your eyes
As you held me sound.

I had no idea
That you loved me too.
Now we can stay together
And that is what we’ll do.

Priscilla
27th September 2005, 01:48 AM
From a personal standpoint, I like the second poem better, just because I'm more of a non-rhyming writer myself. Don't call your work "dumb". Poetry, I believe (and was taught) is a craft that improves the more you work at it. Keep trying, keep putting your heart into it, and write about things that you know! :ok: