A Threat Unforeseen - Amy B

[C_ris]

I really like the idea behind the story, and it was written very well. The main citicism which I have of it is a lack of punctuation (a pet peeve of mine). I like the way that you have kept the time in with references to contemporary practices and the such like. My only other criticsim is that there is so much of a focus on the main charcter, with little clear third person writing.

But I like it, and want to read more! :ok:

[Bamy]

never have been very good with punctuation and i know it is mostly first person. i will sort that out at some time or another but i really want to flesh the story out and get it 'finished' before doing that.