Jayson / AlterEgo - Our poetic ramblings!

[JayEgo]

I suppose I might as well add a few of my better pieces here, for those who've not read them on my website. Be warned, some of the content might be deemed a little :erm: controversial but hey, it's art...!

Ja¥son xx

[JayEgo]

My favouritest piece!



The kiss.


Capturing an essence of the forbidden,

I dwell deep in your thoughts,
Whilst you lie entranced within my own,
Dreaming of a fiction past reality yet to come,
As the devil steals my night and you,
Yet you are so tamed by the beasts entering my soul,
Unseen as driven thoughts of purest life burning,
In the side of your mind of society,
This I break through to taunt you but briefly,
To find you once again in my arms,
Opening the innermost desire of your unseen spirit,
True in my own I hear the voice,
But for a whisper of true love passing,
I speak your name,
Beyond a word of comprehension,
A singing aura after the night has fallen behind,
Teasing all my waking passion,
Gone before our time is together,
Passing away to our world,
Should I mourn all that has yet to come,
Crying into your touch,

You kiss me.

[JayEgo]

A love poem... Honest!

Massive Luxury Overdose.



My soul is on fire with hatred,

A total knowledge that I did not ask for,

The dynasty of your life,

A dreaded ball of confusion,

Directed at me and you and the world around us,

Screaming through a dying cosmos,

Screaming to myself,

I call out to the gods,

Call your name,

Ask for your forgiveness,

But all I really want is my own.


The legend that I read of,

It is me,

I live that life,

Though the words of wisdom,

They are of human mouths,

And I search for something more universal,

Openings in this reality,

That I have previously fled from,

A field of true vision,

Materialistic in all it’s forms,

I want all but never,

The never in you,

Torturing my heart and soul,

I torture my own body,

Toxins all around calling my name,

And I answer every one of them,

The messiah calling me,

To the depths of a hell not hell,

Forever not ever,

In my mind,

In my self destruction.


Following a path that does not exist,

Emotion I will not allow in my soul,

Master and slave are but one,

Yet planets separate all that is,

The nectar pouring down my dry throat,

Never reaching my thirst,

The demons drag it from me,

Hating me,

As I hate them,

As I hate you,

But it never ends.


Gleaming golden in the moonlight,

The moon has no gold within,

I can’t stand the sight,

But I go on living endlessly,

Immortal,

Beyond all I had ever learned or dreamed within life,

This is no life.


Masochism takes a hold on my waking,

And crucifies all that has been,

Dragging all my obsessions through every time this world has ever known,

I attack you,

All of your cursed being,

Spell after spell I cast you cast,

Where is the one true meaning.


I stand united,

Yet I am so totally alone,

Without a supreme entity to guide me,

Lost in a million words,

A million languages,

Multinational lives throwing their ideas,

To a mind that will not accept a single truth.


All I believe I could ever desire,

In your hands,

Far from my infinate reach,

You are beyond infinity.


A corpse of what may have been a past life,

Should I choose to know such exists,

Society a shapeless form,

Throughout the ages,

Who am I,

Who was I,

Who am I to be.


The charriot carries me forward,

Faster than I would choose to go,

But far away from the lion’s den,

Babylon has fallen,

And I live on without faith,

A darkness where my empire once stood,

As sharp as the blade that is your tongue,

Yet blunt as the words rolling towards me,

Words I never heard.


I never wanted to hear anything,

No music to pass into my conciousness,

The planets collide as my being,

I am one but more,

More than myself,

More than them,

I am more than you could ever be,

Yet less than you will always be.


Praising of a lord above who hangs below,

Following hidden testaments,

That were never shown to the believers,

I see them all in a crystal,

To follow and seek,

To rip from the souls of others,

My mind is blank again,

Blackened by the hand of god,

Should he choose to be.


A bullet flies past my inner self,

I am so close to a death,

But I cannot die,

I am eternity,

And you are but a day in it all,

Tonight you live,

Tomorrow you die but not,

Forever in my dreams,

Never a part of my soul.


My ego,

Bleeding on the edge of a mountain,

The eagles tearing at the flesh of me,

Till I am but bone,

And still I travel onwards,

A destination I will never find,

But you are there,

Waiting for my arrival,

Burning fires of lust,

Deepening your desires for me,

Deep into your own heart of selfishness,

The atoms that crash together,

And make you a whole person,

But you are nothing but matter,

You are nothing that matters.


I am all,

I am I,

You taught me and teach me,

And long to teach me.


Failing organs of every body,

Cancerous cells burning at your stomach,

Science cannot tell,

Cannot help you in your last breaths,

As I stand over you laughing,

Drinking more and more venom.


It is all too much,

Famine takes me,

But I was of no substance and cannot die in it’s arms,

I am floating beyond strength,

Beyond wisdom,

Beyond all you can comprehend,

I am lost in knowledge.


A broken fairy tale I tried to believe in,

I grew older,

Maturity snatching my only pleasures,

And you standing before me,

Trying to make me believe in you.


Scorned by love,

I will not be hurt again,

I find isolation,

But need a someone a somewhere,

A life to live,

I can only return to it all,

to you still there,

Your hand outstreched to rip my heart,

From a dying body,

Weakened by alcohol,

A strength I find I may always have had,

Or never conceived,

All of worth.


I cannot buy the unconditional,

the crucifixion that is the ultimate sacrifice,

Is no path for mortals,

And this is all we are,

All you are,

All I am,

All that we can ever be,

I need to claim the power,

To take myself before you take yourself.


Riding to the heavens in the smoke,

The fires that were us,

Thorns burning beyond the meek,

We are the wild,

We are all of the world,

This life does not exist without us,

This life cannot exist without us together,

And separated.


The world falls into oblivion,

We cross the Rubicon,

Go beyond all we know,

But again you choose a different path,

And I am alone with my spirits,

With whom I talk,

I go beyond all I know,

I become a different you,

A different me,

And a new beginning,

On this judgement day.

[JayEgo]

And this one's got a little course langauge! I was pissed off, no apologies!

Apocalypse of the Never World.



The thrashing beasts of hell arrive to the day,

Tearing at the souls for sale on the streets of blood,

United nationalities lying in the past voices of humankind,

No way forward for the stones of truth unless there is a beyond of all,

Tied to the cross of suffering in every apocalypse surrounding us,

Reverence screaming behind it all.


The sin not sin but the only sin,

Hatred, greed, defeatisism riding high on a wave of love not love internal,

Dark as the cold of between the senses,

Alcoholic demons as one with the planet of lust that is all we have ever lived,

Freedom a plague in haunting lives to touch to hold,

To cherish is a last thought of the rotting corpse of chances lost,

The fires of the thunder god launching sexual deviance into oblivion,

Perversion dies in the angelic wrath of total anihilation within the saints of the neverworld.


I bear the sins of mankind as the cross of diminishing light is beaten against the backs of the pure,

Allowing us to heal the wounds is a laughter in the throat of Satan,

As I cry out, you cry out, they cry out, we cry out, the cries of muted materialism,

The single shining apocalypse of the neverworld grasps at it’s every nightmare,

Gripping the sword against a splitting torso of the hypocrite.


The penetration of the womb,

Giving deadly life to the infants of the future,

A chilhood race of adolescent evil before it’s time,

The crashing walls of every garden pronouncing itself as Eden,

The serpent cries as one with the human race.


The pain is spent,

Ripping the veins of truth from the destiny hanging between the forest and the mountain,

How can you stop and stare at such a sight,

Blinding in it’s glorious deception that no eyes may see.


I collect another fruitful tear that may have been of a dying figure before their birth into insanity,

We live beyond the sane of pleasure,

Supernatural derivatives of distinction in the forms of castration given as a trophy.


Women the parafinalianated flowers dying even in the sunlight,

Clear as smoke filled cemetary homes of the still living,

Men lying in the tortured silence of the queendom of the breast,

I stand beyond the phalic temple,

Drinking from the fountain of the neverworld,

The apocalypse upon my lips,

Entering my bloodstream as a virus deep in it’s torment,

Smoking a final cigarette in the shadow of all that the world may yet be,

You cannot see it’s future.


Sorrow filled dramatisms playing with words as they fall to the littered ground before you,

The elements queing against the finality of the lights in the sky,

An escape from this morbid planet,

Gay in all it’s purest wastage,

An itch on the surface of a finite universe that ends in it all,

Ballrooms of the great hall where Pegasus may be found dancing to a new vibration,

Auras hanging as the paintings against the joyous walls that you will never see will I never see in you.


Demons take a hold of the Church walls,

crushing the muted sounds of plagurism,

Silver foil for the guiding dogs that guide only to an instant doom,

Bisexual abuse of the virginic paintwork that was once your life.


Apocalypticism continues it’s haunting melody on your desires,

The man deep within another man,

The woman can never achieve the deepest penetrative shinning of the star,

The great rewards of anal stimulation,

Starting to form around the lips of the vagina to be torn open by the head of a devil’s child,

Paradise found only in the queer heart of hetrosexuality.


Crystiline structures attempt to form over the millenium,

A lottery of comission for fire,

I cross my legs to pray for you and you and I and then and more,

Lesbianism the final escapism for the rape of mankind and men alone,

An outfit of pure transgender that was once so politically correct in it’s romanticism.


The power of Olympus only a touch of the Atlantis scourge,

They govern and we die,

The will of the God’s of evil and cleansing knights,

Above the realm of Earth’s tormented kingdom,

The apocalypse of the neverworld has only just begun.

[JayEgo]

First were the words I spoke to him,
Before the time when we made love,
Before the time when we were as one without the need for language,
And long before we grew old and died together.

First were the words I love you.

---

:crazy: Sorry - soppy mood!

Alter 28/03/06

[JayEgo]

Yeah, thanks for that Alter...! :erm:

---

'STRANGE'

The comets collide,
Pure majesty,
I see it in your shining face,
As all of this insanity,
Flies by all that we knew,
Forever forward through the sky,
I fly with one and you,
Tomorrow's surest sign of stars,
Written in a spectrum,
Abouard this celestial flight,
Calming moons of another world as this,
To this end I seek the way out,
Spoken like a true god,
And you a but a subject,
Which I must study hard,
Universal tests,
Must I attain the degree?
Strange how the night affects me.

Jayson 27/03/1997

[JayEgo]

Despite what you may think, I was rather happy when I wrote this... I still am!

---

Tears of acid burn deep lines into my face,
Trembling legs guide my blind body through an open space,
Weakened hands,
Worn through constant strain,
Lift the clean blade,
And banish, forever, my pain.


Jayson, sometime, some years ago!

[Priscilla]

Jayson, I could see where you could have been happy when writing that last poem, in spite of how it sounds on the surface. Knowing that you "were" happy I could read into it "finding your one true love, years of sadness and pain from a previous unpleasant relationship - being washed away by tears of joy and in one quick, clean slice - the new and "forever" love removes the pain?!" Anywhere near close? :)